Friday, February 26, 2010

I'm not a very big deal, but Sue is

Blog giveaways are a nice way to get free stuff; or so I've heard. One time I scored a set of IKEA kitchen utensils from a blog giveaway, but that's about as far as I have been able to get. My other blog used to give away a bunch of cool stuff but I was never eligible, so instead we would give our readers things like season passes to Thanksgiving Point and spa treatments and I'd have to sit at home, read about the winner and go, "Yay, winner!" when what I really wanted to do was create a fake login so I could try and win it myself. But I didn't, because if I'm going to go to hell for cheating I'd like to score something better than a massage out of it.

The other thing I've noticed about blog giveaways is the more popular the blog, the cooler the stuff. Which is why if I did a giveaway it would be like, "Leave a comment and enter to win ALL THE GUM WE JUST SCRAPED OFF UNDER THE MIDDLE SCHOOL DESKS! Leave TWO comments and we'll throw in a BUMPIT! Already used by the cast of 'Jersey Shore', but STILL! A BUMPIT!" Which is why you should stick to blog giveaways on really good blogs, like Sue's. First up for grabs over there is a Targus 16" laptop backpack. Second on the list of possibilities: An HP Compaq Mini CQ10 Series Notebook. I KNOW! So, go check it out if you want to enter to win. I would love to be all supportive and say "Good Luck - I hope you win!" but the truth is I'm really hoping I get it, which is why I'm posting this link because it increases my chances. Nothing personal.

Thursday, February 25, 2010

Wondering...

How is it that I am perfectly content smearing ketchup on my hash browns, but if I saw you try to put ketchup on a baked potato I would be like, "THAT IS SO SICK!"

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Hearty Morning

I'm not really a hearts and butterflies kind of person. Last night Cory and I were watching a little TV and there was a girl who came on who was a little too happy for me and I said, "I bet she dots her i's with hearts." I don't know about you, but being too happy is kind of a deal breaker for me. I guess I just know too much about life to trust someone who smiles all the time. Like Amy Adams in "Enchanted" - I loved that movie, but only because I knew Amy was acting. If I met a person like that in real life we would not be friends because I would be too tempted to slap her and say, "You really should consider wearing a little more black."

So far, my daughter still dots her i's appropriately but I know the time is coming when hearts replace the period. There are definitely way too many smiley faces in her daily life than I care for, but somehow we still manage to get along. Yesterday morning as she descended our stairs after a fresh blanket of snow accumulated overnight, she looked out the window above our front door and said, "Look Mom! Hearts! In the snow!" I didn't necessarily jump out of my chair, but instead tried to politely oblige by climbing halfway up the stairs so I could at least pretend to be a good mom and see what had my daughter so pleased. This is what we saw:



I hate to admit it, but even I thought it was pretty cool! See? I'm not completely dead inside.

Monday, February 22, 2010

Fired

I’ve been getting a lot of inquiries over the last few days (translation: my mom called) about why my other blog was suddenly suspended so I thought I would attempt a brief explanation. Here's the scoop. Basically, nie nie and cjane were sick and tired of us getting all of the attention, and I mean SICK. and TIRED. It was causing friction in their family and so for the good of the blogosphere we said ENOUGH ALREADY! We don’t want to break families up, we want to bring them TOGETHER! HOLDING HANDS! SINGING CUMBAYAH! DEDICATING SONGS TO EACH OTHER ON THE RADIO! FRIENDING EACH OTHER ON FACEBOOK TO PLAY MAFIA WARS AND START SNOWBALL FIGHTS AND BOND THROUGH SCRABBLE! So, Kacy, Lisa, Emily and I got together and prayed about it and decided that it would be best for all of us to quit.

Well, at least the part about my mom calling was true.

Truth be told, it was Dooce’s fault. She was all, “Stop being so righteous and profound. You guys make me SICK! All the people I’m turning away from the church are turning back to the church because you guys are so damn cool! (Dooce's words, not mine.) Stop it - you’re ruining everything!!!” And we were all, “Dude. She has a point. After all, the woman has sold more books than Tiger Woods had mistresses so the chick obviously knows what she’s talking about.”

So we listened. And we quit.

Well, at least the part about Tiger was true. And Dooce did sell a lot of books, bless her heart. Must be all those residual blessings from the good ol' days when she paid her tithing and worked on her Young Women's goals.

You know how people sometimes say that “Truth is stranger than fiction”? Well, unfortunately that’s not the case here. The REAL truth (serious this time) is that our blog was owned by a company and that company laid us off. (See what I mean? Boooorrring.) The bad news is that I am really going to miss working with such quality women. It was kind of like being that one girl at school who’s not that interesting but everyone likes her anyway because she hangs out with the popular crowd. I’ll miss that. The good news is that I’m sincerely looking forward to reconnecting here at Rabbit In The Headlights because I’ve missed you! And I’ve missed my rabbit. There’s something about those beady eyes that makes me want to throw him a little treat through the internet so he’ll stop looking so scared. It’s okay rabbit, momma’s back.

Thursday, February 18, 2010

The one where my mom plugs her ears and goes, “La la la!”

It was Drew’s last day off track so we decided to go to lunch, and with a brand new “5 Guys Burgers and Fries” down the street we knew just where to go. I had heard a lot about this place but had never been before, so I was curious to see what the fuss was all about. Guy #1 took my order and was very pleasant. He said, “sure”, “you betcha”, “thank you” and “you’re welcome” at all the right times, and let me put whatever I wanted on my hamburger for no extra charge. Jalapenos? BBQ sauce? Grilled onions? I could have had all of it, except I think those are all gross so when I said “no thanks” he said “no problem!” Good job Guy #1. Guy #2 shaped my never-before-frozen-fresh-from-the-pasture ground beef patty. It was delightfully not perfect and tasty to my lips. Guy #3 made my fries, which on that particular day came from potatoes from Shelley, Idaho. At least that’s what the sign said, and I don’t think any of those 5 Guys would lie to me. Guy #4 grilled our burgers and Guy #5 called our number. His voice was very loud and I heard him perfectly – they must have interviewed lots of guys before finding just the right Guy #5.

Drew proceeded to the drink station where he concocted his soda elixir of Coke, Cherry Coke, Root Beer, Mr. Pibb, and Diet Coke all in the same cup. Nice. As we filled a cup with ketchup for our fries I spotted several bottles of something called “Malt Vinegar” on the counter. I asked Guy #3 behind the counter what it was for, and he said, “Oh, it’s really good on your fries. Just put some in a cup and dip it like you do with the ketchup.” Not one to miss out on a certain delicacy, I gave it a go. As Drew and I sat down he asked me about the malt vinegar, and we had the following conversation:

Drew: “What IS that?”
Me: “It’s malt vinegar. They said it’s good on fries so I wanted to try it.”
[dip fry into cup]
Me: “Ew. It’s not good.”
Drew: “Here, let me try.”
[dips fry into cup]
*choke!* gasp! * Drew lunges for his drink and drowns himself in CokeMr.PibbRootBeer.
Drew: “That’s disGUSting!”
Me: “Told ya.”
Drew: “I mean, it tastes like…like… salty pee and vinegar!”
Me: “Salty pee? As opposed to what?”
Drew: “Well, you know how pee is really salty?”
Me: “Uh…how do you know that exactly?”
Drew: “Because A____ told me once that when he went to the bathroom he had an accident and some of his pee accidentally got in his mouth and that it tasted salty.”
Me: (?????) “How does pee get in your mouth when you have an ‘accident’?”
Drew: “I don’t know, maybe he was just standing there and things started to go everywhere and he opened his mouth like, ‘Aaaah! I’m having an accident!’ and then the pee saw his mouth open and went, ‘Hey look, a cool cave!’ and it just jumped in there.”

So I guess what I’m trying to say is that yes, 5 Guys Burgers And Fries was tasty, no I don’t recommend the malt vinegar, and even though the five guys all did a nice job taking care of us, my favorite guy was sitting at my table already.

Sunday, February 7, 2010

They're Here!

I feel like it's God's way of telling me everything's going to be all right.

Wednesday, February 3, 2010

Because I Don't Do Twitter And You Can't Make Me

Hey, just because I took a "Are You A Chocoholic?" quiz on the comcast homepage and noticed that they misspelled "Ghirardelli" does NOT mean I have a problem.





Does it?