We've narrowed it down to a routine - Cory researches the value of the card, then I list it, keep tabs on the auction, and ship it to the highest bidder. See how I just made it sound like Cory does one thing and I do three? Don't be deceived, because you may recall that he is a CPA so when I say that he, "researches the value of the card" it means that he looks up the reseller purchase price, compares it to the market value, calculates the difference and formulates it all into a spreadsheet. This, he can do. It's Valentine's Day that he struggles with. Speaking of Valentine's Day I gave Cory his gift a little early last week when I commented on one of the auctions. "Did you see that Nether Void is up to $84?" I asked him when he walked in the door. Then, shocked by my own words I steadied myself, looked up at him and said, "Have you ever been more attracted to me?" I imagine it would be similar to Cory nudging me awake after a nap and saying, "Would you like some chocolate molten lava cake with vanilla bean gelato and caramel sauce?" followed by, "Are you always this pretty?" This is why imagination is so important, kids.
Nevertheless, I will admit there was a bit of an adjustment period because I am using Cory's already established ebay account, so I'm kind of trying to pretend I'm him. Not only that, but I have to pretend that I speak this other language that includes words like "Tolarian Academy", "Earthcraft" and "Mox Opal" (just to name a few). I'm trying to sound legit but let's be real here people, I am a stay at home mom who watches excess amounts of HGTV, appreciates the comeback of the color gray and understands that to love Pinterest is to love burlap. I don't know how to communicate with boys who don't capitalize their sentences or use punctuation. After a few encounters I asked Cory his opinion while responding to a query. I wanted to sound friendly and accommodating, so I answered this guy's question and ended it with an exclamation point. "Does this sound like something you would say?" Cory peered over my shoulder as I sat at the computer and the following conversation ensued.
"What's with the exclamation point?"
"It's supposed to make me seem nice."
"You're making me sound like a GIRL."
"So you just want me to end it with a period? That seems so...cold."
[Cory shakes his head.]
"I mean, really," I defended. "This is a good card! He should be excited about it!"
Ok fine, Cory didn't say I was lame. Not with his words anyway, but his body language was screaming, "You are a lame spice, lame nugget, lame-a-licious lamehead."