My Best Friend's (ex) Boyfriend

The other night I was having trouble sleeping when I thought up a brilliant idea for my next prank on my friend Ganelle. Recently she stumbled upon a blog of one of her ex-boyfriends – it’s a detailed account of his daily life with his wife and multiple children. As you can imagine, this kind of information has similar addictive qualities as meth, and she’s been stalking lurking for weeks, curiously reading about his life and family activities etc. (I would like to clarify that she is happily married and not pining after a former guy, just curious.) Still, she panicked when he added a site meter to his blog and she wondered if he’d now be able to tell that she was visiting so she stopped.

Lying awake and staring at the ceiling is when it hit me - I knew exactly what to do, and I jumped out of bed to head down to the computer. For the last three days I’ve been pretending to be her ex-boyfriend, creating a bogus email account using his name and then emailing her to say (basically), “Hey, I noticed you’ve been visiting my family blog, I managed to find yours too, how’s life going?” That’s when she called me and said, “Crap! He knows! What do I write back?” So I helped her draft her response, to ME. My final email was sent to her last night – this is what it said:

Ganelle:

Well, I haven't quite adopted the enthusiasm of blogging as much as my wife has, but I’ve managed to catch up with a few friends. So, your husband sounds pretty important and successful. Is that why you chose him over me? I was pretty devastated when it didn’t work out between us. My wife is great and everything, but to speak candidly she’s only second best.

Your kids look cuter than mine, too. I know that my wife paints a pretty happy picture on our family blog, but it’s pretty much a façade. On my darkest days I get out old pictures of you and I in college and imagine what might have been, but I know that’s not very healthy. I had a little bit of counseling which helped for a while, and then I saw your picture in the BYU alumni magazine and saw that you hadn’t changed a bit and it brought back old feelings. At least I don’t put that picture under my pillow anymore.

Even though I don’t contribute much to the family blog, I have a secret blog that no one else knows about that’s dedicated to you. I guess it’s okay to tell you about it since you’re the only who will know! The web address is: http://www.iloveganelle.blogspot.com

If you left a comment it would absolutely make my day!!!

Still Love You,
[he who shall not be named]

She must have checked her email around 10:19 pm because my phone rang at 10:20. Luckily, she was laughing!