Tuesday, May 19, 2009

For Jessica, Because I'm Feeling Nice Today.

I was minding my own business...actually, scratch that. I was taking care of everybody else's business on Sunday when I was caught in the halls by a really supportive and loving friend who said, "Hey, time to post something new. I'm getting a little tired of the NyQuil picture." I said something warm and loving back like, "Aren't you the one who only has ONE blog?" But now that I feel the pressure, the disease to please has kicked in and I want to meet her request. You are in for a treat ladies and gentlemen, as I give you...drumroll please... a Blast From Kristy's Past.

Here I am at Elvis' Grave in Graceland. I felt very close to him that day, and even though he couldn't hear me, I know he knew I was there. I learned that day that there are loyal psycho fans who exist that have standing orders with florists to make regular deliveries to his headstone. I want to see where those people live, because I can't help but imagine that they have pink flamingoes on their lawns and velvet paintings of the Virgin Mary.



Here I am (on the right) at my college roommate's wedding. Remember when floral prints were all the rage? You don't? Then you probably don't remember when peach and green were the primo choice for bride's maids dresses either. I'm sorry you missed it, but I'll submit a request to the Fashionland to see if they can at least make a plea to bring back burgundy and forest green. I don't want you to miss out on everything.



This glamour shot comes to you from my days as a Congressional intern when I went to witness the Presidential Lift-Off from the White House lawn. I only put this up because my legs were smokin' back then.



Oops! This is Garth Brooks. I hated country music up until I saw the video for "Friends In Low Places" and then I felt like we had a lot in common. This was before he cheated on his wife with another country music star so I still respected him. I guess he could have missed the pain, but he'd have missed the dance.



"I'm too sexy for these waders, too sexy for these waders...." What can I say? I had a crush on a fisherman and I was trying to get his attention.



LaVern & Shirley, Halloween 1992 with my friend Amy. "Shlameel, shlamazel...."



"Why I oughta...." I desperately want to have a good explanation for this picture. This was taken last year, and apparently this is what I look like when I get a hotel with friends and they take a picture of me in the dark without my make up on. I was provoked and I had just eaten a lot of pasta. 'Nuff said.



UPDATE: Samantha looked at this post last night and said, "Whoa. Those are some pretty big bangs you had in college." I guess it could have been worse, she could have pointed to the White House picture and said, "Wait a second, is that...*squinting to peer closer*is that like a space between your legs?!"

28 comments:

Kerri said...

It's all so...revealing.

beanstocks said...

Loved the "blast from Kristy's past"! Too funny! My favorite is the picture of you taken in the dark. You crack me up!

superpaige said...

All lovely! Thanks for posting.

violyngirl said...

Umm...wow!

Mortensen Baby Farm said...

I can't breath...I am laughing too hard...seriously can't catch my breath! You are such a tard! Love all the pics though...SHAZAM! The last pic is my fav! Shows your true personality!

FYI - If I had known I had this kinda power over you, I would have requested grasshopper cookies too! Giddy up!

Mortensen Baby Farm said...

(shut up - I can't spell - I have 5 kids and no brain cells left)

ganelle said...

Hey! My bridesmaids wore peach and green floral dresses. Wanna make something of it???

Great pics!

Vern said...

ganelle: exACTly.

Rachel said...

It was worth the wait.

I know I wore floral print dresses. Did grown women wear them too? Because that seems crazy. Was it just teenagers/young women?

Heather said...

I remember the floral print dresses AND burgundy and forest green- do that make me old?

My favorite is the waders... good stuff.

rocslinger said...

Love the Waders, but I don't know how you catch fish when the're swimming away in terror

Meredith said...

OH how I remember the peach and green wedding colors! And by the time Abby gets married it will probably be back in style! Every Jason and Jennifer that tied the knot had peach and green... am I right?! Kristy I can't tell you how much I feel like I missed out and getting to know you better! You are so much fun! And you're so cute!!!

The Bergeson's said...

Do you think we could arrange some sort of poster board collage with these pictures? Maybe display in the church foyer? FABULOUS. My personal favorite are the fishing waders...I am oh so sure that you got his attention...

Kristin said...

I was Laverne, my dresses were dark green. I hated country until Friends in low Places, are you following a pattern here. It is too revealing!

jksfam said...

Elvis died on my 6th birthday. That means my "big" birthdays were overshadowed on the news by the 10th (16th birthday) and 15th (21st brithday) anniversary of his death. I was a little annoyed...
Peach and forest green were our wedding colors, but we didn't have any bridesmaids (not really needed to buy dresses, etc. for...). Oh, the floral dresses that were in my closet...
Fisherman = Cory?

Vanessa said...

Could you please just move in next to me?

Stephanette said...

What a woman won't do for a fisherman. After all teach a man to fish....

Kristi said...

Aaugh, love the blast from the past. I remember the Kristy of the floral dress. Do you hear from Sam ever?

rick and cheryl said...

Awesome! Just Awesome! I had no idea the lengths you would go to impress a boy. I'm sure it worked. Loved the pics! Thanks for sharing!

*katie* said...

So, SO many great shots! I'm sure I had a matching floral dress during my tween years;)

Mom of Three said...

That dress reminds me of Ganelle's peach and green wedding. I was way more hip with lavender and teal!!! Love the trip down memory lane :)

JustRandi said...

You know, I think I successfully avoided the flower dress years. That or I've blocked them out completely.

Lorie said...

Holy Crap-load of comments!! I don't recognize your awesome burgandy velvet dress with 2 foot lace ruffle on the front. You are a hottie!!!! (That "space between your legs" comment is hilarious!)

Pauly said...

What's up with the black arm-band on the floral print? Were you mourning the death of your roomie's singleness?

Carly Noel said...

You're still the funniest person I know. =)

Carly Noel said...

Note how I didn't say "funniest looking..."

Mindy Williams said...

I just found you and now I am hooked. That was quite honestly the funniest post I have EVER read. And to put up old pics of you, even better. I don't have enough of them that I am willing to share, but I should just tell you that Bart informs me my old hair was a "lezzy-do". We'll leave it at that. Oh what fun you are...too bad we don't get to see more of each other. You are hilarious. I knew I liked you from the start.

Mike Davis said...

As for the picture taken in the dark, did you airbrush out the middle finger?