Friday, April 15, 2011

The al-Qaeda In My Mind


Often when I go several days in a row without writing, there is actually quite a lot going on in my head.  It’s a warzone in there sometimes people.  More than an angel whispering happy thoughts in one ear and a devil enticing evil in the other, it’s a virtual ground zero on some days.  Thoughts careen into my frontal lobe without warning and invite my spirit to wake up, because something monumental is happening.  But before I can write everything down, calm the chaos, and make sense of it all, the walls are already burning.  The foundation rattles, the sides give way, and although a few good thoughts escape, many collapse and become buried in the rubble of a life that doesn’t always make sense to me.

The truth is sometimes painful.
Facades cut even deeper.
Too heavy.
Too stupid.
Too annoying.
Too unfair.
Too much.

Too…




…much.

13 comments:

Kristina P. said...

Virtual hugs?

happy mommy said...

Don't know what's going on, but you've got my love and prayers!

the emily said...

Wow. You can write, sister.

anitamombanita said...

I hope that was the storm before the calm... :(

Whatever it is, this too shall pass. You know how it says on just about every page of the scriptures (when some bad thing is about to happen)..."and it came to pass"? Well, take note. There's not a single passage in there that I've ever been able to find that says "and it came to stay". So, remember "and it came to pass..."...this too shall pass.

Ria's Random Thoughts said...

Uh oh! I hope everything is okay.

You need to go to the zoo and watch a gorilla eat it's own poop.

That always helps put things into perspective.

Stefani said...

I can relate on the walls collapsing if you can't get it out. I always tell my hubby... being creative makes me a better person (in all ways)

Vern said...

Ria: That's something I hadn't considered! I don't want people to get too concerned - everything is fine, just crazy times, you know?

Randi said...

Sounds like a good time for a Sonic run!
(hugs!)

Heather said...

Sonic run or drowning yourself in a vat of cookie dough. I'm prescribing both.

Dawn said...

Well, from the grand perspective of age, nothing lasts forever. I kind of like the gorilla poop idea too.

You are in my prayers, Catholic though they be.

Dawn said...

I just had to add this (had to spend a while looking for it in my quote notebook.) It's by Anne LaMott:

"My mind remains a bad neighborhood that I don't like to go into alone."

I have to say that having had that "Oh so special surgery" that you recently had can make your hormones insane. Oddly, some doc's don't pay as much attention to that as they should. If you go see your doc (if you feel that might be an issue) it helps if as you explain that you feel just the tiniest bit testy, you grab the doc by the throat. Make them pay attention better.

Vern said...

Randi: You're on!
Heather: Done. Monday, Tuesday AND Wednesday, actually.
Dawn: I'll take your Catholic prayers any day! Same God, but He might take it better coming from you. He's tired of my whining. :)

Garden of Egan said...

Hugs and love!
Hope that the coming days are better and less chaos.