Tuesday, February 6, 2007

Drugged, Comfy and Warm

So, it’s possible that I’m ADD and just haven’t been officially diagnosed. All I really wanted to do was make a deposit at my bank, which happens to be in my local grocery store. Then I needed milk, and if I was gonna get milk I may as well get the vanilla yogurt I like to use to make smoothies. And…wait a second, are those donuts fresh…? Anyway, after purchasing my goods (which disturbingly totaled $6.66) and checking out I started walking to my car and looked at the beauty supply store next door and reminded myself that I should get more mousse for my hair, as mine had recently been reduced to the likes of a rabid dog foaming at the mouth. So I went into Ulta to retrieve my mousse and then remembered the intoxicating lotion sample given to me by my hairdresser and fantasized about a really BIG bottle of it next to my bed at all times. I’m pretty sure it has a marijuana leaf on the outside of it, but the notes on the bottle inform that it is a “THC-drug free” product. However, with the way my eyes roll blissfully into the back of my head every time I lather this stuff on, I have to wonder. I decide against the lotion, but am distracted at every turn by items beckoning me to enhance my femininity with their shampoos and serums, fragrances, shower gels, and body butters guaranteeing to make you feel a part of the Caribbean for a few moments. Finally I tore myself away, made only the necessary purchases and left…and then looked to my right and noticed the shoe store and remembered that I still had Christmas money to spend.

So I went to the shoe store.

The last time I had gone into this store I had been inspired by a very trendy and cute pair of Skechers that I saw my sister-in-law wearing at our summer family reunion. When I tried to go locate some for myself, they were not to be found. So at the time I bought something else - some sort of black monstrosity that weren’t really sneakers, and weren’t really sandals, and weren’t really flats, and definitely weren’t cute…but they were comfy! (Note: The first time I wore these shoes I accidentally fell into thick, muddy pond water in Gunnison during our fishing trip, demoting them even further into the category of damaged goods. Alas, still comfy!)

Now I was in this store again, and decided to look for some knee-length, sleek black boots that I could wear with some of my skirts. The good news: all the boots I wanted were over 50% off. The bad news: None of them were available in a size 11. Something I’ve grown accustomed to. But you know what was on sale in a size 11? Slippers! Black slippers with foamy happiness lining the inside and endorsed by Dr. Scholl’s were on the clearance rack for $15. And if I wasn’t going to be able to walk out of this store with some sexy black boots to strut at the mall (as if) at least I would have warm toes in the morning.

So let’s recap: ADD, possibly high, not cute but comfortable, not sexy but warm. Happy Tuesday.


Anonymous said...

At least you got out of your house! I find I go from one room to another being distracted all the way, and not really sure what I am doing in said room at the time, or how I got there. Is that ADD or just MOM.

Paige said...

Oh, the fun of going shopping without any kids.

Jill said...

I am simply overjoyed that you used the term foamy happiness!