Thursday, December 24, 2009

Merry Christmas

My sister called about a week ago and without a lot of time to chit chat, she asked, "Okay, I just have to know - did you really send this card out to everyone on your Christmas card list?"
"Yes," I answered with confidence and a chuckle. "Yes, I did."
"Wow," she said. "I can't believe you had the guts to actually do it."
Weird, I thought she knew me better than that. I have discovered that the only problem with having two blogs is that come Christmas time, I really have nothing left to say. Last year I managed to squeak out a few highlights and jokes that weren't otherwise shared, but this year...this year I was tired and out of ideas. Not to mention, Christmas and I have a rocky relationship and I have been trying VERY HARD, almost as hard as Tiger Woods has tried to keep his pants on I have tried to keep a healthy perspective this year. I am happy to report that I have been surprisingly successful, assisted in part by experiences such as this. I let Drew decorate part of the mantle, I allowed Samantha to take over the baking of sugar cookies, and I even let Cory hang the most ridiculous strand of blue icicle lights off of our back patio without saying anything. Well, at least I waited a few days. DO YOU SEE HOW ALL GROWN UP I AM?

But in the midst of all this growth I could not for the life of me find the heart to sit down and eke out a Christmas letter worth reading. SO. Instead I came up with the most genius three lines I could think of, slapped our family photo (courtesy of my talented niece Brianne) on a card and called it a day. This is our picture:



Here was the message we scripted on the back:

I've gained weight
Cory's going bald
Our kids are average

Merry Christmas!

I know, right? GENIUS, if I do say so myself. And I do.

Hope your Christmas is everything you hoped it would be and more.

21 comments:

Kristi said...

Wow, possibly the first year I wouldn't feel intimidated by your Christmas letter. Merry Christmas

superpaige said...

I LOVED loved loved your card. First of all, you all look gorgeous, and the sentiment was so heartfelt, so genuine. Merry Christmas!

Rachel said...

Kristy. That was seriously the BEST Christmas letter we got this year. I hang all the pictures we get and stick the letters below them in a little basket. But I took your letter and stuck it right next to your picture in a place of honor and, yes, even reverence. You are the winner of the Christmas card letters this year.

Bravo.

Amy said...

Nothing makes me happier than reading those words on someone else's card instead of in my own head.

However, that picture kinda takes the "hey! she's actually average and not intimidating" edge back....it's adorable. :)

Karen said...

Um, hilarious. And it's actually a fantastic picture. Look at you in all your gorgeousness.

the emily said...

Ahahahahahaha! Perfection. Merry Christmas from another average family.

ganelle said...

We got a card with their son's score on the ACT. Yeah, I liked yours better.

Susan said...

Love it! Pure awesomeness.

jksfam said...

You and Sam look beautiful and happy. Cory and Drew look a little annoyed... :) Merry Christmas!

Autumn Lynn said...

I don't even know you, but I started following your blog and I could not stop laughing. Nice job!

rocslinger said...

I like your card but I have to correct you in the fact that Sam and Drew take after thier parents and are well above average.

Suzanne said...

Seriously, as if your Christmas cards wern't already the ones I pointed out to all my as they came over for the holidays in years past...

This one is by far the very very best.

What did I do to deserve a friend like you? Big ol' lol from China right attcha, Vern.

violyngirl said...

Beautiful. Perfect. Genius.

Jenn Shideler said...

Your kids look SO grown up to me. I can't believe how much they've changed in a year and a half!!

Vanessa said...

I think our neighbor has those same lights.

Kerri said...

I see rocslinger is kissing up to you....

Great card. Loved the pic. So much better than the one I got about how much illness she'd had.

Mom of Three said...

Made me burst out in laughter! So much better!

Heather said...

Awesome.... I wish I was on the list. ha ha

Mortensen Baby Farm said...

Fav EVER Christmas Card! I've told everyone about it and I have used it as a bookmark over the holidays...just so I can laugh!

Kacy said...

You're my hero.

mb said...

I LOVE IT!! (I'm a fan from the other blog, which I started reading because my husband is a relative of Emily's . . . just didn't want you to think you had a scary fan.) :) (Though we do have one unfortunate thing in common--I got the same calling shortly after you did.)