Tuesday, December 18, 2007

Shameless

Since surprising Cory with the trip to Hawaii, I’ve received several comments about my rock star status like, “Wow, that’s so great that you had the whole trip paid for before you even told him! And with all your OWN money! What a great wife you are.” I’ve shamelessly accepted all compliments, drawing the line only when a person started to bow in my presence. I’m not afraid to say I think I AM a great wife. A great wife who really wanted to go to Hawaii wanted to show the love of her life the lengths to which she would go for his happiness. Indeed I went to GREAT lengths.

With a month to go on the deadline for paying for the trip, I was still a few hundred dollars short with no photography gigs on the horizon. I began scanning the home for items to sell on craig’s list – I stared longingly at Cory’s golf clubs, and wore a sinister grin as I lightly traced my finger over his collector baseball cards. Then reminding myself that I wanted to STAY married, I searched for different options. As if the mailman heard my pleas, two random checks showed up in the mail, one from our insurance company and the other from our escrow corporation. We both had to sign them, they both went into my account. Then later in the week, with only a few more dollars to be gathered, the voice of a coin shop owner I had recently spoken to echoed in my head, “I buy old jewelry and melt it back down for new jewelry…” he had told me. I ran to my jewelry box. I found a chunky piece of silver, an old earring that was missing its counterpart, and then, in a parallel moment of shame and glee, my eyes fell upon my Young Women’s Medallion. [Note to reader: In my church we have a program that allows young women to earn what they call a “Young Womanhood Recognition” award, similar to a young man earning his Eagle Scout. The crowning piece of recognition has come in various forms over the years. At the time I received mine, it came in the form of a gold, oval shaped medallion. Much like an Eagle Scout award, it seldom gets worn again.] Unsure of its value, I imagined Satan’s lips curling up in Grinch-like fashion as I tossed my medallion into a bag to take to the coin shop.

“I’m not sure if it’s plated, or solid, or even if it’s worth anything,” I explained to the owner.
“Well, the only way to find out is to cut into it. If it IS real, it will ruin it,” he warned.
I hung my head, suddenly ashamed that I even considered this and walked out the door.
“I regret that it has come to this,” I replied.
“Works for me!” I announced.

He got to work.
Cut.
Pour suspicious liquid over surface.
Watch it fizz.
Rub on a strange surface.
Declare to unfit medallion holder, “Well, it’s solid 10 karat gold. Which works out to about...(punching into the calculator) thirty-three dollars."
I agreed to the transaction, he wrote a check, I immediately went to the bank to make the deposit, and then celebrated the fact that I just hocked my YW medallion for an amount of money that would probably buy us both a bagel once we actually got to Hawaii.

When I came clean to Cory about my jewelry incident, I was prepared for him to be slightly disappointed with my cavalier regard for it. But in an unprecedented turn of events he not only wasn’t disappointed, but he LAUGHED!!! And he laughed HARD! Thus proving to me once and for all that there will never be another man for me.

In conclusion:
Trip to Hawaii: $5200
YW Medallion: $33
Bagels and Juice: $32.99
Selling my soul to the devil for $33, some bagels and a laugh: Priceless

10 comments:

ginger said...

I think you made a great "sacrifice"! I wish my medallion was gold. It was coated in some strange liquid at some point and turned completely green. I threw it out without thinking twice. Is this why we are good friends too?!

JustRandi said...

SHAMELESS is right!!! I don't even know what to say!
Except - where is that jeweler located?
We need a fundraiser for our youth conference, and I'm beginning to form an evil plan...

"Uh, bishop? I have an agenda item for ward council..."

Anonymous said...

CLASSIC!!!! I can't stop luaghing. I guess I really am Cory's sister. I can't get over it. You hocked your YW medallion. This is journal material and when you are old and are writing your life history, this is the stuff your grandkids will want to read. They'll be saying "go grandma, you rock"

Boliver

Rachel said...

That's totally and completely AWESOME! I think this is the only time in my entire life that I've wished I actually earned the medallion...

Paige said...

$33? Good to know! If I could ever find mine, I mean.

Heather said...

Whoa.... I'm speechless and laughing- how is that possible?

ganelle said...

I'm sure that young South American family who decided to pay their tithing instead of feeding their children are glad that their tithing money went towards a $32.99 bagel and juice in Hawaii.
You ought to be ashamed... :)

Vanessa said...

Ok....that one is going to get me through the day smiling. Thanks for such great entertainment Kris!

Cannons said...

I echo the words of Ganelle. WOW! That was a REALLY FUNNY comment. Maybe you'd better go back to the woods and PRAY FOR FORGIVENESS, Sister Steele!! :)
~Lorie

Sherise said...

Wait, those medallions were made of real gold? Why didn't I get mine? I could be a couple of bagels and juices richer right now!