Sunday, January 6, 2008

So, I'm either PMS'ing or just a sentimental freak

There are certain things that I'm really good at memorizing. I have inherited the ability to know an inordinate amount of phone numbers from my mother, and it's a trait that comes in very handy when I'm not at home with the directory at my disposal. I know my credit card number by heart, as well as the 800# for Frontier Airlines, my gym membership ID#, my frequent buyer code for Wolf Camera, and dozens of phone numbers of friends and neighbors.

In addition to my affinity for numbers, I've tried to commit to memory certain events and moments in my kid's lives. We all know they grow up too fast, but video cameras are not always handy when you need them and the camera doesn't always capture the moment. My mother-in-law keeps a photo album on each of her grandchildren, and during our recent visit my kids got theirs out and looked at their pictures. Drew flipped to a picture that was taken when I was not there, so I hadn't seen it before - he was about 2 years old, fresh out of the bath, in clean jammies with his hair still wet and freshly combed. My ovaries started to hurt and I panicked, because right there staring back at me from the page seemed to be proof that I was already failing to remember. And while I am completely content to be past that two-year-old phase, it made me miss it terribly.

Today I'm trying to memorize what it felt like to have Samantha come in unsolicited, throw her arms around my neck and thank me again for the Nintendo DS we gave her for Christmas. I'm trying to freeze in time what she looks like before the final stages of puberty take over, and how she looked as she came in my room late last night and said, "Mom, I was wondering if you could give me some advice." Last night while retrieving a couple of grocery items from the store, Drew helped me carry out a bag and declared that he was holding it on the bottom with his other hand in case the bag broke, then his hand would catch it. He seemed proud of himself as he closed his mouth in a tight lipped smile and revealed the subtle dimple in his right cheek. For some reason, I didn't want to forget it, so I told my brain to please try and remember this very small and seemingly insignificant space in time. On the way home I called my mom because I needed her special roast beef recipe. My dad answered. While talking to both of them I had to smother the sudden emotion that bubbled to the surface as I realized that this little interchange wouldn't always be my privilege. And while I'm not worried about my parents dying anytime soon, they will eventually, and then who will I call about roast beef?

This very minute I'm trying to engrave in my brain walking in on Sam & Drew two seconds ago as they laughed while wrestling on my bed, and witnessing Drew running commando to the shower proclaiming, "I am NAKED boy!!" as if introducing the latest and greatest superhero. Cory is pacing the floor downstairs, on the phone and taking care of some church business. When he's done he will come upstairs and tease the kids before coming in to greet me. I command my brain to take notes, and pray that it is listening.

9 comments:

Paige said...

I totally understand. I want to remember every little thing! Thank goodness we do have technology to help us, and can rely on video, photos and even tape recordings as well as our feeble memories.

Kerri said...

I hear you. Every time I forget to make a note of something Rachel says or does or miss a great camera shot, I think, "Never again. That's not going to ever happen again, so I'd better just imbed it in my mind for safe keeping." Oh, and you're just a sentimental freak.

Anonymous said...

Travis and I were talking the other day about not always looking to the future. "It will be so great when there will be no diapers." or After tax season we can do this or that because you won't be working so much. But you know something? Living in the future does not make you happy because you miss all the cool and special moments that are right under your nose. So even if you don't remember all those things you want to remember in the future, be glad that you are taking the time to remember them today. Count yourself blessed.

Boliver

JustRandi said...

I agree with you completely. And it's moments like your scrapbooking one that make me think I might be getting Alzheimer's or something.

What was I saying?

ginger said...

It goes way too fast. We have been watching old Christmases for the past month, and I keep thinking, how could they be so big! Thank goodness I get to do it again, but I can't believe B has been home for almost 8 months all ready! Yikes!

Heather said...

Awwww....

Pauly said...

Sounds hormone-related to me ...

"Vern" said...

reason #65 of "why I love pauly"

Cannons said...

You have the most popular blog I have ever seen!
I've been watching old home movies when we were little and I realized... pretty soon my kids will be doing this and they'll say what I said, "WOW! Mom looks so young!"