Monday, June 9, 2008

Do you believe in miracles?

In the planning of our summer schedule we have dedicated our Wednesdays as "Pool Day". This sounds fun, right? When you hear the word "pool" don't you start dreaming in different shades of aqua blue and fantasizing about nonchalantly sipping your cold beverage while donning the coolest, newest, hippest sunglasses? Yeah, me neither. My sentiments are more like, WHAT? I'm supposed to wear a bathing suit? Like, with other people around?

The last time I bought a bathing suit was six years ago. I went into a department store and saw a section labeled "Miracle Suits", figured they were talking to me, and bought this little number. Cute, right? It claims to take off ten pounds in ten minutes. It comes pretty close, although being able to achieve deep breaths while wearing the suit is irrelevant to the makers of this product. Nevertheless, I'm open to compromise when discussing revealing one's thighs at weekly conventions of Moms Who Should Not Be Allowed To Claim Childbirth And Look Like That. Also, I'd like to let the brains behind the operation of Miracle Suit know that there's more work to be done. Metaphorically speaking, more mountains yet to climb. As in, it's time for me to buy another bathing suit. Are you with me? I need more than a miracle, and I'm willing to give you more than ten minutes. C'mon, what have you got?

12 comments:

paige said...

Cover-ups.

paige said...

And good luck in your quest.

Heather said...

I totally looked at buying a Miracle Suit last summer. BUT my miracle needs to come in the form of lobbing off about 20lbs of
b00bage.

Anonymous said...

I like that they say if it is your first time ordering a Miracle Suit, order a size larger. Obviously if you already own a Miracle Suit, the miracle has happened and you can order your regular size. That's pretty cool.
Kettie

Anonymous said...

two words Land's End.

Great bathingsuits.

Bol

Rachey said...

I think you look great in the swimsuit you have! I like Target, my mom usually orders hers from LandsEnd. Good luck, shopping for swimsuits is never fun.

Kerri said...

I'm really glad I don't know how to swim, am afraid of getting water in my face and am too fat to ever be caught dead in a swimsuit. I never have to worry about this stuff. I just go read in the shade while Rachel swims. I've always figured people were silently thanking me for remaining fully clothed and covered.

The Motherboard said...

I bought a miracle suit last year as well. I also have that 20lbs of extra b00bage that heather was talking about. I inwardly groaned at the thoughts of having to go buy yet another (expensive) miracle suit.

Then I found modbe suits. Holy cannoli batman! Seriously. You should give those a try... they really ARE miracle suits!!

Lorie said...

Notice the model has a perfect body... or wait... maybe she's actually overweight and it's really a MIRACLE?!! I've always loved the little skirts and/or ruffles that go with swimming suits. Like that actually helps... OR, you can just wear a giant T-shirt over everything like we did in the old days. Then you don't have to spend 70 bucks. :)

b. said...

I'm sorry, but I instantly think cryptosporidium when I hear the word swimming pool.
Hopefully, they've got that all handled this year.

b. said...

and ditto on lands end.

Mom of Three said...

Two words...wet suit. That's my approach to being outside in water. Whatever happened to those cute frilly suits from the 40's?!