Monday, June 23, 2008

What I Know For Sure - Volume V

Have you missed this feature? It's been a while, and I've learned a few things lately so let's get up to speed. First, what Paul Reiser knows for sure:

“Sometime during those forty-five minutes between feedings when you actually are asleep, a little man comes and takes your nouns away.” - from his book "babyhood"

1. I don’t know what the going rate is for idiots these days but whatever it is, I’m grossly underpaid
2. Ron Paul has dropped out of the Presidential race. I could have saved him some money.
3. The Lakers can't win a playoff game EVEN IF THEY OCCUPY A 24 POINT LEAD.
4. Using a gas lighter instead of a torch to melt the brown sugar on your crème brulee does not produce the same effect - I learned this on Father's Day - I don't want you going around thinking I whip up crème brulee on random Tuesday nights
5. The commercials where they make real people look animated aren't cool
6. Applying moisturizing chap stick before buzzing on your bike through the buggy area of the lake is a bad, BAD idea
7. Purple jelly beans always suck
8. Sonic has happy hour every day from 2-4pm. Drinks and slushes are 1/2 price. What else do I need to know? Except that their shakes are also 99 cents during the month of June. And JUST now I learned that there is nothing on my keyboard that will produce the "cents" symbol. Has it always been that way?
9. Behind every good man in a road trip crisis is a good woman with a bag of wipes
10. Anyone who still operates under the notion that all black people have rhythm has never seen Oprah dance

24 comments:

ganelle said...

I {heart} Sonic's happy hour. I'm a BIG fan of the Route 44 diet Coke with extra, extra ice and extra, extra lemon.

Ummmm.

Oh, and just yesterday I noticed for the first time the missing cent sign. Whomever made the keyboard probably wasn't thinking of summer chores for my seven year old.

Kerri said...

I have been appreciating the Sonic tip for a couple of weeks now, so thanks. And, yeah, I've missed the What I Know For Sure posts.

The Motherboard said...

I love Sonic's Rt. 64 Cherrylimeade- or in other words, the TUB-O- cherrylimeade.
Joy. Rapture!

Cowboys listening to rap music is like having a screen door on a submarine. It just doesn't work.

The Motherboard said...

Whoops. I mean Rt.44. It's late and the screen is getting blurry...

Playful Professional said...

An exciting insight into your life :) Oh and how I wish there was a Sonic here. So sad.

Anonymous said...

For those of you wondering how to get the ¢ "cent" symbol just go to insert / symbol and the scroll down to the symbol you want (Alt I S). You can actually type in hebrew if you want. Or if you want the quick command hold down the control key and the / key and the letter C all at the same time.

Sir Cooper

Heather said...

Hey I was going to do a little installment, but now it would look like plagerism... I do love me some sonic. i just wish the cream slushes were 1/2 price during happy hour.

Lorie said...

Funny! I'd have to say I whole-heartedly agree with every single one those things. Great post, Vern.

Rachey said...

Obama can't dance either, anyone else see his appearance on Ellen?

happy mommy said...

Ahhhhhhhh...Sonic Happy Hour.

Hail to its cheap, yummy goodness.

And 99 cent shakes?? Sonic, have you been reading my diary??

T

Kira said...

A word to the wise: malts ARE NOT included in the .99 special. Which makes me want a chocolate malt more than anything right now.
Sort of perverse of me.

tin said...

The bad thing is that Oprah thinks that she can dance. Did you see her and Tina Turner?

The Broad Squad said...

oprah dance!!! LOL!!.... I think she should take lessons from Ellen!

Mom of Three said...

I thought I was the only one who can't stand those bizare (sp.?)commercials.

jennie w. said...

I just found out how to do cents! If you have a mac it's option+4. If you have a pc hit Ctrl+/ (slash)+C and the cents symbol will be inserted.

Anonymous said...

I just read your other blog about not knowing what to blog about. My brother is SUCH A DORK!!!! It's scary that I could totally picture him doing the skunk position and saying all those retarted comments. It's sad that I share blood with the guy. Just kidding Cory. Love ya to pieces!!

Boliver

p.s. this is when I'm glad that no one knows my real name.

Anonymous said...

Is your house in Highlands Ranch????

Megan said...

I tried the cents trick, didn't work. But you can do face card symbols with the 10-key pad! Hold down "alt" and a number and then release and this is what you get:
☺☻♥♦♣♠•◘○.
-Colby Who?
-All white people can dance and there is a conspiracy against us.
-I do idiot services for free
-The closest Sonic is an hour drive away and though yummy, not worth my $4.39 gallon gas.
-Esurance commericals and the McDonalds ones scare me with their semi cartoon like creations.

Jenn Shideler said...

couldn't get the cents trick to work either.

the5firds said...

I am all about the Route 44 cherry limeade (diet is not so bad either). But just a word to the wise; a route 44 cherry limeade makes a very LARGE mess when spilled in the car so drink responsibly.

Dodi said...

Sweetie, nothing good can come from dissing Oprah online. She'll send some negative energy your way, perhaps altering the universal conscience forever.

(Or something like that - I haven't downloaded ALL the podcasts yet...)

Jill said...

Just so you know, if you go to Sonic on July 1st and ask for a .99 shake, they get kind of snotty with you.

That "cents" symbol has me baffled also, I'm sure I've seen it on the keyboard before,but now it's gone. Maybe it dissappears if you don't use it enough?

Also, one more thing I know for sure, if you take your four children to Sonic for happy hour to get slushes, because everyone says they want slushes, when you get there, they will all change their minds and want oreo shakes, which are not included in the .99 special, and besides, it's July first and the special is over anyway, and then when you tell them they can only get slushes, they deny ever wanting a slush until you start to back out of the parking place to go home without a treat and then they decide that they really did want slushes after all.

It's probably better just to go to Sonic by myself.

Aimee said...

Cherry Limeades all the way. My husband has been drinking them for ages. (Oooo, sorry, he drinks DIET cherry limeades - he's such a girlie man). So I decided to try them. Now, I'm addicted!!! I have been known, recently, to drink 2 - 3 a DAY. It's a horrible obsession!

As far as the cents issue, can we just say $.99 - it works!!

JustRandi said...

Ok, something in trying to make the cent sign keeps shutting down this window.
Oh, well, at least I've boosted your statcounter by about 20 today.

And note to Jenny W: yeah, that doesn't work on my PC. (Or maybe it's just ME that doesn't work on my pc. I don't know...)