Thursday, December 15, 2011

When The Hormones Are Rockin' Don't Come A Knockin'

Last night.

I was preparing to go to bed when I passed the living room and saw my daughter in the fetal position on the couch.  "What the...what's wrong?"
"I have a huge Biology test tomorrow and I forgot ALL my notes at school."
It was after 10pm folks, and usually by that time, USUALLY, all of my parenting strategies go out the window because I'm mentally already in bed.  My body still hasn't brushed her teeth or washed her face but my mind is already under the covers, curled up next to my personal space heater in the form of a middle aged man with great legs who is warming up my toes.  But last night, I rose to the occasion.  I put on my mom cape and asked, "What time do you have Biology?"
"First," she replied.
"Perfect," I said.  "Just sleep in and I'll take you after 1st period and you can make up the test later."
I know what you're thinking:  I WISH YOU WERE MY MOM WHEN I WAS A KID.  Aren't you?  Because at this point I was seriously contemplating nominating myself as The Best Mom Ever How Can I Ever Thank You and erecting a statue.  As I stood there waiting for her to jump in my arms and tell me how awesome I was she instead responded with, "What about Seminary?"
(...)  "Come again?"
"I mean, what am I supposed to do about Seminary?"
(You guys, why am I always having to spell out to my children how to be under-achievers?  I recognize I am the resident expert, but sometimes it's exhausting.)
I said, "Well, you would have to miss Seminary."  (Again, this isn't bad news!  Here I am, your mother in her Mother Cape saying, "Don't get up at 4:45 am.  Don't worry about your biology test.  Instead, SLEEP.  And then, EAT A HOT BREAKFAST FOR ONCE.  And THEN!  Make up your test later after you've had plenty of time to study and I will even write your tardy note to the office and WHERE THE HELL IS MY PLAQUE?!)
Instead?  She burst into tears.
I don't...I just...what...yeah.
So I took off my pretend Mother Cape and went to bed to let her deal with all of her teenage-ness by herself.  This morning I promptly made up for abandoning her by sending her a text message that I loved her and wished her well on her test, after which I came in to check my email.  I glanced down at the notepad next to the computer and couldn't help but laugh as I saw what Samantha had scribbled on it:

Bless that girl, she's hard not to like.


Cynthia said...

That is funny! I've got one child that is a avid seminary attender too. She went to bed with a raging fever, but planned to get up at 5 because she was worried 2 of her friends that she transports wouldn't go to seminary.
(My older 3 however, would have given me my deserved mom award though if I let them sleep in)

Thelma said...

This morning, in a fit of generosity, I drove my daughter and her friends to the bus in the predawn Seattle rain. They wanted to be let out at the bus stop to wait in the rain instead of staying in the van. "You can't park here...this is where Brittany's dad parks."

My deserved Mother of the Year award didn't materialize either.

I would have appreciated you if you'd been my mother in high school.

Welcome to the Garden of Egan said...

You are totally Mother of the Year!

There is nothing more important that the heater known as spousal space.
Nothing better.

I hope she survived the test and did well.

Jillybean said...

This morning, my son would have loved to have you as his mom. I made him get up and go to school even though he had a huge project due today that he didn't get finished last night because he fell asleep on the couch while watching TV instead of doing his homework.
Normally I might have let him stay home to work on the project but 1) he has known about this for over a week and didn't plan on starting it until last night and 2) he's already missed several days of school in the last two weeks due to being sick. (a mysterious illness that seems to go away completely at 3:00 every day, coincidentally the exact time that school gets out)

anitamombanita said...

Oh, I love that girl. She's a woman-in-the-making after my own heart. And you definitely deserve a medal too.

And yes, those WERE the cookies you thought they were...note I said WERE...because they ARE all gone!!

Lisa said...

AND IT'S TRUE! Seven crappy all the prep time before and after, so really, more like 20. My son woke up yesterday with an enormous lump (kind of a boil/zit) on his face, hours before he was to be auctioned off to the highest bidder at lunchtime for the school fundraiser. He's so stressed that his face is rebelling. And I blame the establishment. And his penchant for Mountain Dew. But mostly the establishment.

Jill said...

You can keep your mom cape on. You might have failed with seminary, but you can still try to persuade her to hock her newly aquired Y.W. medallion.

Buffy said...

I'm impressed. I would have said, "Well, too bad for you. Good luck next time." But then again, she wouldn't have been crying because she forgot her notes. She would have thought, "oh, I forgot my no homework!"

Stunning dude said...
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Lorie said...

I honestly think our girls must have been switched at birth! Hahaha!