I was preparing to go to bed when I passed the living room and saw my daughter in the fetal position on the couch. "What the...what's wrong?"
"I have a huge Biology test tomorrow and I forgot ALL my notes at school."
It was after 10pm folks, and usually by that time, USUALLY, all of my parenting strategies go out the window because I'm mentally already in bed. My body still hasn't brushed her teeth or washed her face but my mind is already under the covers, curled up next to my personal space heater in the form of a middle aged man with great legs who is warming up my toes. But last night, I rose to the occasion. I put on my mom cape and asked, "What time do you have Biology?"
"First," she replied.
"Perfect," I said. "Just sleep in and I'll take you after 1st period and you can make up the test later."
I know what you're thinking: I WISH YOU WERE MY MOM WHEN I WAS A KID. Aren't you? Because at this point I was seriously contemplating nominating myself as The Best Mom Ever How Can I Ever Thank You and erecting a statue. As I stood there waiting for her to jump in my arms and tell me how awesome I was she instead responded with, "What about Seminary?"
(...) "Come again?"
"I mean, what am I supposed to do about Seminary?"
(You guys, why am I always having to spell out to my children how to be under-achievers? I recognize I am the resident expert, but sometimes it's exhausting.)
I said, "Well, you would have to miss Seminary." (Again, this isn't bad news! Here I am, your mother in her Mother Cape saying, "Don't get up at 4:45 am. Don't worry about your biology test. Instead, SLEEP. And then, EAT A HOT BREAKFAST FOR ONCE. And THEN! Make up your test later after you've had plenty of time to study and I will even write your tardy note to the office and WHERE THE HELL IS MY PLAQUE?!)
Instead? She burst into tears.
I don't...I just...what...yeah.
So I took off my pretend Mother Cape and went to bed to let her deal with all of her teenage-ness by herself. This morning I promptly made up for abandoning her by sending her a text message that I loved her and wished her well on her test, after which I came in to check my email. I glanced down at the notepad next to the computer and couldn't help but laugh as I saw what Samantha had scribbled on it:
Bless that girl, she's hard not to like.