Saturday, January 20, 2007

Pour Some Sugar On Me

Seven years ago I reunited with some high school friends over lunch when I happened to be visiting in their town. I had just recently given birth to Drew and as one who gains an enormous amount of weight during pregnancy, was still months away from shedding the extra pounds. One of our lunch-goers was a surprise guest who was found a couple of days prior by a chance meeting in a grocery store, and she decided to join us. She had dropped about forty pounds since high school, looked amazing, and was eager to talk about her route to success. “The Suzanne Somers Diet!” she exclaimed as if the cameras were rolling.

After that meeting I went out and bought my very first diet book: “Eat Great – Lose Weight” by Suzanne Somers. Since then I have also purchased “Dr. Phil’s Ultimate Weight Loss Solution”, “40-30-30 Balanced Nutrition”, and “Body For Life”. The “South Beach Diet” has also recently been added to our collection of books written by people who are now rich because of my problems. Later I would reach a low point while making a drop off run to the Goodwill truck where duty hadn’t yet begun – evidence of a visitor before me was made clear by a big white bag that had been left on the steps. Poking out of the top was a “Weight Watchers Cookbook” and I stopped to think. “Hmmm…would it be stealing if…?” I decided that the book was meant to be donated, so why not donate it to me? So I took it home. But having ultimately failed at every one of these attempts to get my body in better shape, I vowed not to invest any more money (or theft) in stupid diet books.

I didn’t keep my promise.

Today I purchased what I hope to be, for REAL, my last diet book. Ever. Really. I mean it this time. It is called “The Best Life Diet” by Bob Greene. The author said he’s hoping to pay for his new baby’s college tuition with the proceeds from this book, which is comforting because then if I fail I'm at least educating a child. Along with my literary purchase I also bought a box of “Sugar Babies” to eat while reading this new enlightened approach to weight loss because…well because I saw them, and then realized that I hadn’t had them in years, and if I was going to eat some I’d better do it now because it just might be my last chance. This had better be a good book.


Kerri said...

Sadly, I can soooo relate to this. I, too, have bought all those books plus a few more. Let me know how the Bob Greene book is. I just might add that to my stash. Oh, and if you're ever interested in reading The Zone, Carbohydrate Addicts or Fattitudes, just let me know and I'll pull them off the shelf for you....*sigh*

Anonymous said...

OK, you know that I have a similar collection. Did you know that the diet industry is one of the richest in the world? That said, at least you are going for it, and if nothing else you have hard evidence of your numerous attempts!

FavoriteNeice said...

I just want to go on the record as saying that I am 22, have never had any children, and I have already purchased and read all of the afore mentioned dieting books. However, last week I freed myself from dieting bondage and am now a self titled intuitive eater. I'm loving it so far and still losing weight! Yay!

Anonymous said...

Obviously we need to hear from intuitive eater....if she writes a book I'll buy it!