Question: When you run into your gynecologist in public, do you say “hello”?
Depends. The zoo? No. That’s easy. A baseball game? No. Just start clapping, heckling, or act like you’re explaining what’s happening to your kid. The grocery store? Still no. Simply become instantly enthralled with the fresh produce. But your neighborhood park? When you and he are the only ones there with little people? And his adorable 2-year-old granddaughter has latched on to your 7-year-old boy as a suitable role model and wants to do everything he is doing? With him? THEN I say it’s probably time to go ahead and set aside the fact that this is the man who has violated you every year for the past decade and say, “Hey”.
Me: “Hi Doctor ‘K’. (He furrows his brow as if to say, “Do I know you?” Ha – does he ever.) I’m one of your patients.” Perhaps I might look more familiar if I were wearing half a shirt made of pink tissue paper.
Dr. K: “Oh yeah, you look familiar.” Comforting? Not sure. True? Maybe. What he always says in these situations? Entirely possible.
Me: “Is that your granddaughter?” I asked, noting her quarter-sized blue eyes and adding, “She’s adorable!”
Dr. K: “Actually no, she’s my daughter.” Now my doctor is at least in his mid-50’s. And not that there’s anything wrong with that, it’s just not the kind of situation you expect a man entering retirement to announce. So it’s possible, I can’t totally remember, but I might have let out an audible gasp. To which he replied, “Yep. That’s what happens when you go off the medication!”
Memo to self: Never go off the medication. And the next time I run into my OB-GYN at the park, maybe I should just turn around.