Sunday, October 17, 2010

Rise and shout, the Cougars are out!

Every year our church puts on a carnival for our members in this area, and each year it's a pretty big hit, particularly for our younger contingent. Sno-Cones, cotton candy, hot dogs, and corn are always on the menu, and the cake walk, face painting, and whatever bouncy castle jumping thing they happen to come up with are typically included in the festivities. Our church is 100% supported by the members; we have no paid clergy, and hence we have no paid or qualified individuals to man the said face painting booth other than 15-year-old girls and their leaders (such as my big bad self.) But every year we show up with our year supply of craft paints complete with paint brushes seemingly qualified for cleaning tile grout and attempt to grant the wishes of the young children in attendance.

"Can you do a cheetah?" my first client of approximately 4-years-old asked. I hesitated because my specialty is not so much cheetahs but more like squares, stars, or perhaps items in the circle family. His grandmother sensed my uncertainty and jumped in with a suggestion of colored stripes down the sides of his cheeks the color of a Colorado Sports team. Thank you Grandma! I did manage to transform one little boy into a Ninja Turtle, but not before running out of green.

Further back in the line was a middle aged woman who I assumed was in company with one of the several youngsters who hovered nearby, and she kept lurking near the box of paints making comments about "the right color of blue". After putting the finishing touches on a little girl's rainbow, this woman found her way to the front of the line. I looked for the child who was waiting with her when she asked, "Do you think you could do 'BYU' on one side and then 'Go Cougars' on the other?" I realized she was requesting for herself, and so I replied, "Oh, sure." "Well, I was looking at your colors and you don't seem to have the right color of blue. [she picked up a bottle in front of me] This one's too light, I mean BYU has more of a royal blue to navy color. Do you think you could make it darker?" Why of course, lady. Nevermind the small children in line. I began mixing in purple and black, and finally came up with a stunning shade of gray at which point she confessed to being content with the original blue. I got to work.

"So, you're doing the block letters, right?" she clarified.
"Yes ma'am."
[pause...pause...paint over middle-aged hairy mole in the 90 degree heat...pause...]
"And are you going to outline it in white?"
"Yes ma'am."
[pause...]
"It's going to be a big game tonight!"
"Uh-huh." Lady, even if BYU is your alma mater, don't you think you're a little too old for this?
I began to paint "Go Cougars" as she struck up a conversation with another party-goer. As if it wasn't hard enough over a hairy mole in the sweaty heat, now she's moving her mouth???

I really should mention that this woman was not rude or unappreciative, I really don't believe she was trying to be difficult, but is it just me or do you think that a longing for a face paint job should dissipate somewhere between 7th grade and high school graduation?

15 comments:

Kerri said...

I could tell how much you were enjoying yourself that day and now I know why. Yes, you are an amazing artist and I saw that lady later that day and wondered, "How old is she??!?!?!"

ganelle said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
ganelle said...

Don't let the Love Slave know you do BYU face painting, or he'll be showing up at your door every Saturday from now 'til December!

Go cougars!

Anonymous said...

On the way to Travis's parents house there is this house that has cut off one their trees branches so it forms a Y. They have then painted it WHITE. Yes you read correctly. Now down the middle of the trunk they have painted BYU (I am assuming it is the in the right shade of blue) They have placed a piece of wood that says go cougars under where the Y forms. Right above that they have a little doll in full cougar cheerleading uniform. I'll try to remember to take a picture and send it to you. You can't believe it until you see it.

Boliver

Thelissa said...

That is soooo funny! Bless your heart for humoring her.:)

Kelly said...

Ha ha ha!! Good one Vern!

Stefani said...

3 new blog posts tonight all about BYU in some form or another. Yours was the most original! HA! I loved it! (although you SHOUD hear my niece singing the BYU fight song -- it's pretty cute)

the5firds said...

Go Aggies!

RyGuy said...

In answer to your question I will ask another. What is the age limit on Halloween costumes involving short shorts or tights? How old is too old to make and spend hours editing back-yard made movies about pirates? At what age should you stop wearing footie pajamas? You're never too old to have a good time...

Valerie said...

Now that is funny!!!
My son used to proudly wear a shirt that read, "Anywhere BUT BYU!" And we lived in Utah~Cougar territory to be exact. It's a wonder we weren't run out of town!

Adventures In China said...

Haha, I agree! Sounds like you were really gracious about it, though. I graduated from the U, but my dad went to BYU so we had season tickets while he was living-- I've been to 99% more BYU games than Utes games, and they were always a lot of fun. Your carnival sounds great!

Mom of Three said...

I can finally see your blog!! Yeah! BTW~so funny!

Marianne & Clayton said...

The official age of when you are too old to have your face painted- is when you can drive your own sad self down to Roberts craft to buy a 99¢ bottle of Cougar Blue paint and do it yourself. I would've misspelled cougars just for fun. Or maybe wrote "I'm a cougar" and see if she got it.

Steph @ Diapers and Divinity said...

Agreed. :)

Dransfield Diaries said...

Thanks for the laugh. I needed that. I barely let my kids get their face painted, yet alone myself.