I've watched Oprah sit across from many a guest and ask them, "What do you know FOR SURE?" Their answers are typically uninspiring but every time I've heard the question posed I've silently wondered how I would respond to the same. The result has been a series of Top 10 lists I started a couple of years ago (archived on the sidebar) - it's been a really long time since I've had a fresh one, so here it goes:
1. We need to find a different word for “titillating”.
2. Same with “pianist”.
3. Eating healthy gives you gas. Anyone who refutes this has never had a “Fiber One” bar and 5 servings of vegetables in the same day.
4. Noting #3, our investment in that King size bed is already paying off.
5. When your spaghetti sauce unknowingly explodes in a box that sits in the basement for another four weeks it gets moldy and ruins everything else in the box, including your plastic wrap.
6. Trying to get mold out of a roll of plastic wrap is about as productive as trying to scrape all the butter off of a piece of baklava.
7. There’s a scene from “The Office” where Jim is sitting at his station when he suddenly thunks his head face down on his desk. The camera moves to Pam where she explains that sometimes Jim “dies of boredom” and in those instances it is her job to revive him. Now that they're finally together, I think it's time to see Jim & Pam utilize this tactic on a road trip along I-80.
8. It’s embarrassing when your kid farts in front of your home teacher during his spiritual message.
9. It’s also really funny.
10. I’ve never met a woman who can legitimately pull off the phrase, “You go girl!”