Sunday, October 3, 2010

Fascists, Michael Bolton & Inflatable Bananas

It’s been an eventful few days.  Thursday I was recruited by a former military man to teach English in Korea.  I met him while getting frozen yogurt.  One minute he was recommending I get the “Blueberry Tart” and before I knew it he had accused me of being a Christian fascist and threatened to blow himself up if Sarah Palin ever became President.  I was like, “Buddy, I’m just here for the blood orange and vanilla wafer swirl with coconut.”  He was like, “It’s a weeknight and you’re wearing a skirt, don’t screw with me,” to which I exhaled a huge sigh of relief because, FINALLY.  We were on the same page.

Friday we went to Chili’s.  I ate nachos.  Nachos rule.

Saturday morning I listened to this guy say, “There is more to life than increasing its speed.”  We decided there was no time like the present to take that advice to heart, so we spent a glorious afternoon on the lake with some friends who have a boat.  We’ve decided we are very interested in making more friends with boats and are currently accepting applications.  Requirements:  You tow it to the lake, fill it with gas, supply it with ice cold drinks and haul our kids around on an inflatable banana and WE will bring the licorice.  Pretty much an ideal scenario for you.  (Did I mention that we share the licorice?)

The Word on the street is that Michael Bolton was golfing in our neighborhood today.  I’m not sure why he was here, but I’m also not sure how he ever got engaged to Nicollette Sheridan so I guess it’s par for the course.  (Ha!  Oh, COME ON.  Lighten up.)

What do you think, should I take the Korea job?

10 comments:

Kelly said...

We lived in Korea for 2 years and found many interesting people over there teaching Engrish for a ton of won. It might be worth considering...

A'Ese said...

Twizzlers or Red Vines? Because it matters...

Katie said...

I had the same question as A'Ese. I am picturing a Costco tub of Red Vines. Please tell me it I'm not wrong.

Vern said...

A'Ese/Katie: Um, one of each?

mormonhermitmom said...

Maybe a different yogurt place?

Jill said...

You can't move to Korea, my phone bill would be way to high

ganelle said...

I'm feeling a bit threatened by the friends with the boat. All we have to offer is a small TV for BYU games.

But, I'm not too worried. I know too many of your secrets. I'll just THREATEN you into staying my friend.

rocslinger said...

Your a christian facist?

You could have told me.

Now I don't know if I can allow you onto my boat, licorice or not.

Um, if I had a boat that is.

the emily said...

I don't have a boat...I guess it's over.

Jesica said...

There is no Yogurtland in Korea. So no. And keep going to Yogurtland.

(How do I know you were at Yogurtland? How many times have I looked at that wall of flavors?)