Friday, June 10, 2011

My Not Bummer Summer

The universe seems to be sending me messages of hope lately.  I'm not exactly sure what I'm hoping for - lawns that mow themselves, flowers that bite bunnies back, or a journal study on how the consumption of pie adds years to your life wouldn't be so bad, but I'm still waiting on that.  Still, the world is leaving me clues.


Clue #1:  There is a new movie out called "Judy Moody And The Not Bummer Summer".   If you think that sounds stupid wait until you read the plot summary:  "...third grader Judy Moody is planning the most super-duper summer vacation ever with best friends Rocky and Amy. Except that it turns out Rocky is going to circus camp to learn to tame lions, and Amy is headed off to Borneo with her mom to save a lost tribe while Judy stays home with her pesky little brother Stink...."  First of all, I have a few words for Judy Moody; honey, stay close to Rocky.  Boys who go to circus camp have a hard time hanging on to their friends.  Also, if you secretly have a crush on him let me save you some time - he's playing for the other team.  Secondly, is Amy's mom Susan Sarandon?  Finally, were you in the delivery room when your brother "Stink" was born?  And if so, what did he do to deserve THAT?  Anyway, the point is there might be hope for my screenplay after all.

Clue #2:  Andrew Weiner.  Because you can't make that stuff up, and no matter what happens to me his self inflicted humiliation will always, always be worse.  I had a friend throughout college whose last name was "Virgin".  (true)  He recently twittered a picture of himself wearing acid wash jeans and a Members Only jacket.  (not true)  Come to find out that wasn't the worst of it - the latest photo to leak was of him in his bedroom wearing a Klingon mask and working out to a Richard Simmons video. (also not true)

Clue #3:  I lost 4 pounds this week on Weight Watchers.  It's not enough to motivate me into a bikini but it'll do.  So far what I like about Weight Watchers is that I'm losing weight and still eating ice cream.  What I don't like is when we have to clap for people and give stickers when somebody accomplishes something.  It's called getting a "Bravo", and it's very awkward.  It is brought on by events such as walking your dog instead of eating a cookie.  I think it's supposed to motivate you, but all it does is convince me even more that I never want a dog, but would very much enjoy a cookie.  Something WW tries to promote is healthier eating so you can have MORE of it.  But what I like is knowing I can have what I want and then just wait to eat again until lunch.  Specifically, if given the option between a full fat yogurt with cream on the top or two NON-fat yogurts that taste like baby spit up splashed with honey, I choose option A.  Every time.

Clue #4:   Uhhhh...I guess it's just three clues.

8 comments:

Kristina P. said...

I've done the online WW thing, but never the meetings. I'm not sure how I would feel about it. Although, I would like the judging other people part.

Patty Ann said...

Oh, me too!! I have way too much of a sweet tooth!!

the emily said...

That movie is RIGHT up my alley.

Meg said...

The comments: playing for the other team and Susan Sarandon made me laught very hard. Thanks

Garden of Egan said...

Way to go! I think I found what you lost.

Kira said...

Tryyyyyyyying really hard to be more proud of you than jealous of you about the 4 pounds. I have...not lost 4 pounds this week. Of course, my scale is insane and cruel, so God alone knows.
You know what I hate? I hate diet advice that trumpets "You don't have to be hungry!" Yes you do. The whole IDEA is that you deprive yourself of enough food to make your body cannibalize itself.
Bah.

Uh...what i meant to say is GOOD FOR YOU! Yeah...that's what I meant...

Vanessa said...

Flowers biting bunnies would be awesome. There would be no need for netflix in my life. But then again....I am EASILY entertained:)

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