Friday, September 9, 2011

Cupcakes For Lunch. And Other Weight Loss Secrets.

On Tuesday I had four cupcakes for lunch.  But I thought Vern was on Weight WatchersI am.  Incidentally, four cupcakes equals 36 points, and I am only supposed to consume 29 in a day.  Luckily WW accounts for situations like this and gives us 49 extra points each week to allow for things like PMS.  But I thought Vern didn't have a uterus and couldn't get PMSIt's called phantom PMS - it's very rare but affects approximately 1 in every 5,792 hysterectomies.  I think she's making this upI might be making this up.  White lies are a side effect of phantom PMS. 

At any rate, I was sorta hoping I could keep this cupcake thing on the down low so that people could go on thinking I'm awesome for losing the equivalent of about three newborns so far.  Well, two newborns if you descend from the Gardner line in my family, maybe five newborns if they are premature.  Is she fishing for presents?  I'm registered at Target.  THE POINT IS, when I shared the video of my son dancing like Urkel after one too many pixie sticks I received multiple inquiries about the cupcakes?  muffins? that were featured in the background.  Here's what I have to say about that; if you guys can look past the glasses, the dancing, and the red basketball shorts hiked up so high they got altitude sickness to see the food on the counter then YOU ARE MY PEOPLE.  For the record, they were indeed cupcakes, but not just any cupcakes.  These were sort of an experiment on my part and may I say, they turned out delicious.  I'm calling them Orange Dreamsicle Cupcakes with Chocolate Chip Cheesecake filling.  If you like the combination of orange and chocolate you will love them, and I assume you will want the recipe.  So.  Let's get to it, shall we?

Yellow cake mix  (Are you disappointed that this isn't from scratch?  Too bad so sad.  I can only be so amazing.)
Red food coloring
2 tsp orange extract

*Mix according to box directions.  Add a few drops of red food coloring to give it that nice, citrus-y tint.  Add extract.  Spoon into cupcake liners.

8 ozs softened cream cheese
1/3 cup sugar
1 egg
dash of salt
1 cup semi-sweet chocolate chips
* Mix cream cheese, sugar, egg and salt until smooth then add chocolate chips.  Spoon about a tablespoon onto unbaked cupcakes.  Bake according to box directions, about 20-25 minutes.

1/4 cup softened butter
1/4 cup margarine
1/2 cup shortening
4 cups powdered sugar
2 tsp. orange extract
zest of one orange

*Mix ingredients and add milk until you reach your desired consistency.
*Frost cooled cupcakes and refrigerate.  Serve cold. 

Here's what it looks like when you cut one in half - the filling sort of sinks to the bottom while baking and you get a nice, dense taste of chocolatey goodness surrounded by the smooth buttercream and fluffy cake.

And that's why I ate four.


Jillybean said...

Those look super delicious!

Here's a deep thought........ If nobody sees you eat the cupcake(s) do the calories really count?

Karen said...

I am positive those cupcakes are filled with Vitamin C.

That's why I have to make them tomorrow. So I don't get a cold.

Anonymous said...

Laughing out loud and drooling over the cupcakes. If you make me some I will go to Target and buy whatever you want!

Kristina P. said...

Awesome. I've already had three chocolate chip cookies this morning, and it's only 9:30.

Jill said...

Next time you should have Drew dance holding the cupcake. I think it will go viral.

Mom of Three said...

Those look sooo good! I think my phantom PMS is calling for them too :)

Kristi said...

You know when you are reading on your google reader and you see something you have to try and hit "star", well "STAR", "STAR", "STAR"!. There goes the diet!

KS Photography said...

Kay. I am so loving these. Sorry to say I didn't catch the view. I was too enthralled with the dancing.

jksfam said...

I probably would have had more than 4...

Sherise said...

Only four? I admire your restraint.

anitamombanita said...

haha...'not so much a cake-eater', she says, much to Vern's chagrin...but cupcakes? Now that's a whole different dreamsicle!!! i'm going to try the 4 cupcake for lunch diet. Sounds amazing!! Thanks Vern. You rock my socks off.

Chuck said...

I think you can make those for my birthday.

violyngirl said...

Um, I probably would have eaten 27. I'm NOT on Weight Watchers.

mormonhermitmom said...

I didn't even know there was such a thing as orange extract. Wow.

Mortensen Baby Farm said...

You have no idea how much i needed a laugh today! I miss ya!

p.s. come visit and bring some of those cupcakes or ELSE!

Garden of Egan said...

Sounds like they were totally worth the extra WW points.
And about the phantom PMS.....totally real.


Lady Goo Goo Gaga said...

I think I love you!! Just discovered you from Parents mag - and I love cupcakes.....this could be good:)

anitamombanita said...

Hey Vern, just want you to know that I baked these babies for my hubby for his bday...which is not actually until later this week...they were a BIG hit and pretty much disappeared like grandma's favorite pansies down the gopher hole! OK, so they didn't look quite as pretty as yours, but man did they taste YUMMY!! I'll be fasting today...and the rest of the make up for this, but it was worth it!!! Thanks for sharing :)

Stefani said...

Guilty. I'm one who commented. I didn't know I'd be rewarded with such delicious goodness. Thanks

momof8 said...

Mmmmmm...those look good! I'm more of a cupcakes for breakfast kind of gal.

Jen said...

Holy Mother of Pearl!! I think I may have just found my holy grail! These look AMAZING!! And I am going to whip some up RIGHT.THIS.MINUTE!! 7am - who cares? Cupcakes for breakfast???sounds delish! They have eggs...flour...milk...Healthy I tell ya! Yummmmmmmmm!

Anonymous said...

I totally understand about the phantom PMS. I suffer this terrible condition myself, this despite the fact that I am still uterine-laden. For me, it manifests itself in uncontrollable cravings for [insert unhealthy food that sounds good at the time] that can only be attributed to PMS, despite the fact that I'm a good three weeks away from my period.
It's a nightmare, I tell ya. Send cupcakes.