Wednesday, September 28, 2011

In Your Dreams

My favorite dreams are flying dreams.  They don't happen very often, but when they do I wake up feeling invigorated and interesting.  Probably because of all that fresh air.

My most NOT favorite dreams are the ones when I am standing in the lunch line at Miller Elementary and I realize I forgot to wear underwear, and my 2nd grade love interest just dumped me for a girl with a boy's name, and my teacher is leaning over me to help me with my Math but I can't concentrate because her shirt is showing her cleavage and she is trying to mask her coffee breath by chewing cinnamon gum.  Sometimes my dreams are really vivid.

Worse than that are the dreams where someone is chasing me and I can't scream.  I blame those on the rape seminar I attended when I was 12 years old back when I thought that people who kissed each other in movies wore some kind of invisible lip guard, because certainly they didn't actually kiss each other, on the lips, when they weren't even dating in real life.  You see why I never pursued acting.  That and the fact that when one turns a camera on me you may as well be asking Sean Penn to let out a good belly laugh during an Ellen interview.  Not happening.

Last night I had a dream I had never had before.  No chasing, no flying, no Sean Penn jokes; it was a different kind of dream entirely.  I was...


...washing dishes.

That was my dream.  I was standing at my kitchen sink and washing dishes.  IN MY DREAMS.

???

Remember in 10th grade when you wanted the hottest senior boy to ask you out and pick you up in a red Ferrari and bring you a cake and kiss you over the lit candles (WITHOUT INVISIBLE LIP GUARDS) after your sister's wedding as he wished you Happy Birthday and your friend laughed at your fantasy and said, "Ha!  IN YOUR DREAMS!"  I guess I should have wished to do dishes ad nauseum over my kitchen sink wearing mom jeans because now I could totally call up that friend and be like, "Well, well, who's looking stupid now?"

11 comments:

the emily said...

I had a dream a while ago that I won a trip to France...and I spent the entire dream PACKING. I mean, come on, couldn't I at least dream that I was IN France? Oh, and let's not forget the one where we had to start living plural marriage and my husband married my sister-in-law. That one that's a size two, natural blonde, exercises for 2 hours every day and is also the most righteous woman since the virgin Mary? That was a good one.

Buffy said...

I have dreams that I am getting showered and dressed, make up on and everything and then I wake up so mad that I have to do it again! I hate that dream.
I mean come on...you've seen my hair...it takes work!

Steph @ Diapers and Divinity said...

You make me laugh. Always. When I was on a mission, I would teach discussions all night long in my dreams. Gosh, I hated that. It felt like I never slept at all.

Bakeshow said...

Someone needs to lay off the Molly Ringwald movies. :)

Did you read my psycho dreams?

http://bitterharpypress.blogspot.com/2011/08/whats-in-dream.html

anitamombanita said...

I dreamed that I was going to see you soon...you and all the rest of your crazy wonderful clan! Ha! Top that, will you!!! (Shall I bring the rabbit so you can see that he is so NOT judging you?!)

Jillybean said...

My least favorite dreams are the ones where I dream that I wake up, get dressed, wake up the kids, make their lunches, wake them up again, drive them to school...........
Then I actually wake up and have to do the whole thing again.
(Yes, I really do have that dream sometimes)

I also hate the dreams where I dream about brownies, then wake up before I get to eat any.

Garden of Egan said...

That cracked me up.
Washing dishes is more like a nightmare isn't it?

Kinda like having to kiss with an invisible lip guard.

Kristi said...

I used to hate the chase dreams most, now I hate the dreams the kids have, especially the ones that involve water or really needing to go to the potty and then feeling warm all over. . . .

Stefani said...

I still have nightmares about Miss Gregory, my 7th grade art teacher, who had the worst coffee/cigarette breath ever and wore GIANT daisy earrings and a bouffant hairdo. That was 30+ years ago, I tell ya, it scarred me for life.

But doing dishes in a dream - that takes the cake. Even worse than dreaming about Miss Gregory.

Lisa said...

I'm gonna do you a favor, and try to interpret this dream...washing dishes...hmmm...I think it means you like chocolate. And want to come visit me sometime. How close am I?

TheOneTrueSue said...

I LOVE flying dreams. I always feel so vindicated when I have them, like I KNEW I COULD DO IT, AND YET YOU DOUBTED ME! And then I wake up.

This made me laugh, thanks.