Wednesday, October 12, 2011

It's True, I Have Roasted Edamame In My Cupboard

Months ago a friend of mine (Hi Kettie!) was sharing her experience on working out with a personal trainer, who had encouraged her to make 80 grams of protein a day part of her diet.  A DAY!  I was like, "So, let me get this straight.  You pay her $50/hour and in exchange you masticate a cow every 17 minutes?"  She said, "Of course not, stupid.  I masticate a cow every nine minutes, and in my down time I pop a little roasted edamame."  I said I didn't know you could make edamame grosser, she said 'grosser' wasn't a word, I said look it up in the Scrabble dictionary, and it went downhill from there.  She may have a different version of this story, but the point is, I made fun of her for eating roasted edamame.  Because hellooo, too easy.

And then I went to Sprouts.
And the bin of roasted edamame and I came face to face.
My inner voice said, "Don't do it."
The bin cried out, "You know you want to."
My inner voice fought back, "Not really."
The bin argued, "Everybody's doing it."
I said, "No, you must have us confused with Boulder."
Then I got tired of the vulcan mind meld between the bin and I so I broke down and bought some, took a picture, and texted it to Kettie for proof.


It's been sitting in my cupboard ever since.  'Cuz for the record?  Not as delicious as you might trick yourself into thinking.


Then today I was at my WW meeting and the leader was asking what our refrigerators and cupboards should look like if we want to be successful at losing weight.  "If I came to your house right now," she began, "what would I find in your cupboards?"  Perhaps I should have jumped at the opportunity to highlight the abundance of soy gracing my shelves but I couldn't do it.  I couldn't be that kid in class in the front row who asks all the questions, turns in his homework before it's due, and requests additional extra credit work for fun.  So no, I wasn't forthcoming about my edamame but I also wasn't forthcoming about having a bundt cake for lunch last Thursday so I'm calling it even.  I feel like this picture is telling me that's okay:

This one is kind of funny:

As for this one, I SWEAR IT WASN'T ME!


13 comments:

JD Alibi said...

Hi Kristy aka Vern aka the coolest mom blogger I have read in just about forever(yes, I already voted)! You don't know me but I have spent the last few days pouring over your blog after a friend sent me a link. It has been my guilty pleasure and I have laughed(out loud) and cried, commiserated and overall enjoyed myself like I was finally invited to the cool kid party. I felt like I found a kindred spirit or maybe a long lost twin! Now, before you start filing a restraining order- I really just wanted to say THANK YOU for sharing your experiences and delightful sense of humor with the rest of us! It has been the highlight of my week! Blessings on you and your sinful orange cupcakes!

Vern said...

JD Alibi - Who's paying you?

Thank you right back - you just made MY week!

anitamombanita said...

JD Alibi...stop sucking up to her...it just goes to her head! Love ya Vern!

Kristina P. said...

Edamame is the Mario Lopez of vegetables. Satanic.

Dix and Lynn said...

My weight watchers meeting is next to a donut shop....

Chuck said...

Really, I feel famous now. And I probably haven't eaten edamame since I told you about it. Soy nuts on the other hand are in my cupboard and I'm still looking for tasty sources of protein that aren't cows. And I had a pizookie at BJ's last night.

Mom of Three said...

So funny! I have been reading but not commenting, sorry. I love the dinner one too!

Lorie said...

When I read that, I keep thinking of Edna Mae in your cupboard. Like some lost great aunt of yours. :)Awesome.

tawnya said...

So. While I HAVE commented before, you still don't know me. But I wanted to tell you that I had a dream about you last night. It was strange and disturbing and not so fun. So weird...

And, um...yay for edemame? Which, ew.

Garden of Egan said...

That is hilarious.
I have never eaten edamame or however you spell it.

I need to be going to WW.

Buffy said...

Totally makes sense that it was Kettie...curse her and her biker shorts!

Lisa said...

You're freakin' hysterical, and I do NOT use that term lightly. I love edamame, when it's slathered in butter and salt. The devil is in the details, you know.

Jill said...

I still can't get over that you referenced a Vulcan mind meld. ha ha