Monday, February 27, 2012

Monday, Monday

10:30 am - I leave for the gym.  Incidentally, a mile from my house.
10:31 am - Cell phone rings.  It's an 800 #.  I ignore it.  In hindsight, a poor choice.
10:32 am - Arrive at the gym and survey the possibilities - elliptical with TV or treadmill with iTunes?  I opt for TV.  I put phone on vibrate, stuff it in my jacket, and hang it on the coat rack. 
10:48 am - Starting to sweat, I watch the dude on The Price Is Right lose a trip to Thailand while another woman walks off with a boat and designer purse.  I reminisce about my brother winning $40K in cash and prizes back in the Bob Barker days, and how he had Bob hold his shirt while he spun the "Big Wheel", thus revealing his Battlestar Gallactica undershirt.  (a calculated move)
10:50 am - potty break.  The woman in the other stall is wearing too much perfume.  It stinks.  At about this time the police are arriving at my home and I have no idea.
10:52 am - blow nose, switch to treadmill, and judge the girl next to me who is working out in her nightshirt and flip flops.  Try to take a subtle picture of her to post to facebook - dangit! too blurry.
11:07am - Follow physical therapist's instructions:  Run 1 minute, walk for 30 seconds.  Run 1 minute, walk for 30 seconds.  Do this for a mile to gradually break in that calf muscle I tore four months ago.
11:28 am - Final trip to bathroom to wash hands - walk in on nightshirt/flip flop girl dancing in the mirror.  It is all I can do to keep a straight face.  Leave to retrieve jacket, check cell phone, NINE MISSED CALLS, 4 text messages, and two voice mails.  I take it off vibrate, head to my car, and answer Cory's text first in response to his question, "where are you".  I think he is just interested in making lunch plans, so I call him back and leave him a pleasant message on his work voice mail.
11:30 am - Jump in car as quickly as possible to avoid the torrential winds from blowing me to Canada.  Cell phone rings - it's Cory.  He's calling FROM HOME.
"Honey?  What are you doing home?"

"Well, it seemed like the right thing to do when the security company called to tell me our alarm was going off and you were not answering the home phone OR your cell phone.  I was worried."
He was worried.
He also works not very close to home, and I know how busy he has been at work lately so suddenly I felt very guilty that I had, unknowingly, caused such a ruckus.  What happened?  After talking it through for a few minutes we figured it out.

There's a system when I leave the house:  turn on alarm, leave through house door, open garage, and exit.  Today, apparently, the door from the garage into the house didn't fully shut when I left so when I opened the garage the winds (which again, were torrential today.  Like, two hands on the wheel, don't bother doing your hair TORRENTIAL.) blew back open the door without me realizing it, rendering the alarm unable to engage.  When this happens the alarm actually sounds, but I was halfway to the gym by then.  I didn't know - they tried to tell me, hence the 800 # call that I ignored.  So there I was, burning calories and watching people make the highest bid without going over and not only were the police on their way, but Cory called a neighbor to come check on me while he jumped in his car to make the half hour drive.  "I was supposed to be going into a meeting," Cory explained, "but I knew I wasn't going to be able to concentrate."  You guys, he chose ME over ACCOUNTING.  I mean, I've had guys who didn't even choose me over Physics homework and reheated dorm food so forgive me if I think this is a big deal.

Cory might say the moral of this story is to make sure the door to the house is FULLY closed before leaving through the garage.

I say the moral of the story is He Loves Me.

That and if you thing your dance moves are worthy of flaunting in a public bathroom mirror while wearing your nightshirt, think again.


Anonymous said...

I have a few things to say here.

a)Good for you for working out
b)Who answers their phone when it's an 800 number?
c)oh how I dream about being on the price is right
d)flip flops? Seriously?
e)your husband, while probably seriously annoyed with you right about now, is a gem!
f)I'll bet you check your messages next time you go to the gym, right?

Stefani said...

I say the moral of the story is, don't go to the gym - unless it's to take pictures of silly girls in their night shirts and flip flops (then it's worth it)

mormonhermitmom said...

That quite the Monday you had there! Lots more interesting than the call I got from the school - "pick up your daughter, she's puking."

Carly said...

You have the most fantastic stories. =) Loved it. You always deliver when I need a good laugh.

Lorie said...

We didn't get around to THIS story yesterday on the phone! That is almost as good as the story you calle to tell me about. :)

Mortensen Baby Farm said...

How do you NOT have your own tv show?