Monday, July 15, 2013

There Is No 'I' In Camping. Wait...Aw, Crap!

I found out in October that I would have the "opportunity" to accompany 200 girls from my church between the ages of 12-18 on a week-long camping trip.  More accurately, it's not really an opportunity so much as it is a responsibility.  See fine print under the sub-heading, "Mormon Guilt".   It is now July, and camp is in one week, which means I have been trying to come down with the cholera for almost a year now.

People keep saying it's going to be fun, and I suppose it will be as long as I can convince myself that bathing isn't really my thing and singing songs about kookaburras makes me want to hold hands and shout for joy.  Problem is, I can't.  And it doesn't.  I'll tell you what makes me want to shout for joy is something called "soap".  Also, the Hyatt Regency.  Last week I drove up to the campsite with the other leaders (who are going straight to heaven after this) to check out the lay of the land.  ("Lay of the land"?  Look at me, I'm adapting already.)  So there I was, chillin' with my homies in the 'hood when up yonder (I'm so confused!) we saw something big and brown and furry.  The dog that accompanied us was going nuts, as dogs tend to do when coming face to face with a bear.

(No really, it's going to be fun!)

It was fine - the bear ran off, his chunky haunches lapping in the wind as he surged up the trail.  So that's what it looks like when I....  We continued our tour of the facility and before our morning was up we saw another bear...and another one...AND ANOTHER ONE.  Since then we have upped our game in the bear safety department and have informed our leaders and girls about what to do/not to do (no eye contact, walk away slowly, no food in tents, no scented lotions, B.O. doesn't smell as bad as being dead feels!) so I'm not worried because I know that teenage girls never overreact, especially when it comes to PMS'ing away from home when they are sharing tight quarters in the wilderness.  And did I mention?  WITHOUT SHOWERS.

It's going to be fun!

I'm naming him Kookabeara.



5 comments:

Rachel said...

So maybe this isn't necessarily a great suggestion for a leader, but... this would be a super fantastic year for a bear prank. It would go over particularly well given the bear sightings.

In our pre-Piney Creek days, Lauren pulled an effective one with downloaded bear noises and some stick breaking (and a well-timed screaming nightmare that occurred by happenstance, but you should probably not count on that and plan accordingly.) I think it would have the potential to increase your enjoyment significantly... :)

"Cottage By The Sea" said...

Camping? Oh I'm glad I'm Catholic. But that's a whole other guilt.

The Dixon Family said...

Few things:

This is NOT awesome.

I'm against Rachel's little pranky prank. Unless it's against someone far far away from my tent and it's on the last night (so there's no way of retaliation).

I hate bears.

I'm so glad you'll be there. You get me.

I'm packing some earplugs and some sleeping pills.

That's all.

*katie said...

Oh my, good luck!!!

Vanessa said...

CRAP.....is nobody else noticing how HUGE that bear is? People....we're talking lives here.....lives. Prediction.....somebody WILL bring candy into their quarters and will come face to face with a big fuzzy one at least one of the nights.