Failure To Launch

I am one of those people who don’t find certain modern technologies to be more convenient. When I go into a bathroom with automatic faucets and flushing toilets, I feel like I am auditioning to be a traffic cop. Because most of the time my 5’10” frame is not enough to signal the water to launch, the paper to dispense or the toilet to flush. So I find myself waving my hands all around as if the invention is yelling commands, “Higher! Lower! Almost, just a little more to the right…perfect!” Water finally comes out of the faucet, but then I have to change positions to reach for the soap and bam! the water stops and the game starts all over. And would you like to know just a little too much information about me that will show just how dedicated I am to making others feel better about themselves? Here it goes: I DID NOT KNOW, until about 2 years ago, that automatic toilets have a button you can push if they don’t happen to launch automatically. Think about that. Are you connecting the dots? Let’s just say that my Hip Hop class at the gym came in handy during those times. And let me also say that traffic cops would have to be very skilled to motion traffic with THAT.