Friday, July 20, 2007


I've only had a pedicure once in my life, and probably 2 or 3 manicures. But lately it seems like I haven't been able to cure the roughness of my heels on my own and so I broke down today and went for my 2nd of a lifetime pedicure. Frankly, I don't know why I stayed away so long. But because I am not in the habit of such indulgences, there was a level of uncomfortability that I had to grapple with.

First of all, sometimes I have questions. The first and only time I had fake nails (about 2 years ago - hated it - will never do that again) I wanted to make sure that they weren't too long, too square, too oval, too much, etc. In essence, I needed a nail consultation. But it's hard to have a conversation with a guy named Frank from the Philippines (whose name is surely not really Frank but who had to change it because he would rather go by a plain, American name than suffer the rest of his life with his given name being butchered by a world of Brittanys, Ashleys, and Mikaylas) whose forte is nails and not english chit-chat with a salon rookie. I walked in and tried to describe my needs in detail with some kind of articulate monologue like, "Well, I think I want to get acrylic nails with a french manicure, but will they be really long? Because I want them to be relatively subtle, you know, no daisies, no american flags, no spray painted hearts or anything, but I've heard that these things can be a little suffocating to your real nails. Is it true that once you take them off that it takes like TWO MONTHS for your real nails to come back? 'Cuz I don't know, that seems like a long time."

All he seemed to hear was "french manicure" and "acrylic" as he smiled but wordlessly motioned me to a chair got to work.

So, yes. I find that communication can be a bit of a problem. Second of all, I find that I have a hard time really relaxing. The salon I went to today was in the middle of my local Wal-Mart and so there was a lot of traffic passing by. I found myself regularly distracted, and thinking things like, "Holy cow, that kid is MAD," or "Honey, you really shouldn't wear sleeveless," or "Hey! There goes Lauren!" And above all I kept thinking, "Is it really appropriate for me to completely relax in a vibrating chair with another man rubbing me feet? What will people say?"

But I will tell you this, my feet are now pretty and smooth and at the end of the day, I think my new friend Frank is worth every penny.


Kerri said...

I LOVE a pedicure - having only had 2 of them in my life but always wanting more. I might give ol' Frank a try....Well, not really after seeing a movie where Asian women insulted their clients in their native tongue while working on them. Can't for the life of me remember what movie it was, but that scene sure stuck with me. Does that make me a bigot? LOL

Randi said...

Kerri-asn't that in Legally Blonde?
I've never been able to have a conversation with my pedicurist.(Well,neither time.) I consider myself lucky to understand when she says "you picka colah now."

Anonymous said...

I don't know, I think I would rather not be able to communicate. Usually when I go to get a pedicure I am dead tired and want to be left alone, so. . . lack of english isn't necessarily a bad thing!

Anonymous said...

I had a pedicure from a white America a few years back. She spent the whole time insulting me in ENGLISH! I'd rather imagine them thinking awful things then know for a fact that they think your toe nails are ugly...
I haven't been for a pedicure since.

Vanessa said...

As I was reading your comment of only having a couple of pedicures in your lifetime I thought to myself.....that's too bad....I get them often. Then I realized I've only had three in my lifetime, this is because the time and effort it took to get a sitter so I could get a pedicure made it seem like I've done it countless times. I digress.....the real reason I am responding is to confess a problem of mine. When I think to myself....I need a treat, how about a pedicure? I then quickly figure out what I can purchase for that amount of money....namely shoes. I do the same thing when I can't remember the last time I cleaned my floors and realize I need to call Anna's cleaning service. Then I realize I could buy at least four pairs of shoes with that money. Needless to say, I have too many pairs of shoes, and I still can't remember when I last cleaned my floors and my toes still have the same polish I applied three months ago. Do I need counseling?