"Reviving Ophelia's Mom" - a Sequel

We have been on vacation this week (hence my lack of communication), but I neglected to secure appropriate vacation reading material before we left. So I rummaged through our existing reserves and chose to take a book along with me that I purchased a couple of years ago that I haven't yet read, but have been told by many is a critical and helpful guide for parents of adolescent daughters. It is called Reviving Ophelia: Saving the Selves of Adolescent Girls, and considering my plight of the onset of middle school in less than two months, this seemed like a good time to hone my mothering skills so as not to disrupt my current pattern of perfection. (heh)

Day one provided me with my first opportunity to open this book and begin my enlightening quest. By page 38 I called my friend Ganelle, a major proponent for this book, to express my sheer horror at which she laughed because what does she care she has 3 boys. Apparently I've got little more than thirty days before my 55 pounds of blond-haired-delight-who-cheerfully-helped-her-brother-pack-his-suitcase-for-our-trip-and-recently-decided-to-start-doing-her-own-laundry is about to hate me, obsess about boys, stop caring about grades, wear too much eyeliner, and get annoyed by my every move such as clearing my throat in a way that OH MY GOSH EVERYONE WILL NOTICE. One night as we sat at dinner Samantha was rambling on about her Webkinz and all I could think of as I looked into her big blue eyes was who might try to say or do something horrible to her in the halls of her new school. I chattered on in raised tones to Ganelle, who suggested I skip the case studies and move to the back where the helpful suggestions are supposedly located. I chose option B): run to the grocery store and buy a "People" magazine and read instead about Prince William and Kate Middleton making eyes at each other at a concert and that Lindsay Lohan, pictured holding a tall cold one on the beach, seems to be handling her rehab really well.

If this author is right about what my child is about to go through, Lohan and I just might become roomies.