Is it too much to ask for a standing ovation?

I think it’s the least you can do. I have gone without sugar for a week now. By far the hardest day was Saturday when I went to a bridal shower and felt like an alcoholic at an open bar. How was I supposed to focus on the unveiling of toasters from neatly packaged Bed Bath & Beyond gift boxes when the hostess had made homemade chocolate peanut butter truffles and set them in the middle of the refreshment table? Answer me this: Are there any four better words to put side by side in the English language than chocolate – peanut – butter – truffles??? I didn’t have any. I ate carrots and celery and wheat thins. And since I had minimally helped with some of the details of this party, the lovely bride-to-be had prepared me a thank you gift. I opened my bag to reveal a lovely candle, scented appropriately for this time of year. But surrounding this candle was...are you listening? Paying attention here? This is important. Because she had surrounded my thoughtful gift with Dove chocolate!!! The GOOD kind!!! As in, put this in your mouth and prepare to hear the trumpets of angels. As soon as I opened the gift bag I ran for the drawer, grabbed a Ziploc, stuffed the chocolates inside, sealed it shut and delivered it immediately to my neighbor across the street.

So yes, I believe some clapping would be appropriate. And it wouldn’t kill you to stand up.