Wednesday, November 7, 2007

Dear Dr. Phil:

My daughter has cried herself to sleep for two nights in a row because we put our old car up for sale. She said she has become attached to it after all this time and worries that it might not go to a good home. Lately I have been thinking that we should move to Guatemala and build homes for the poor so that she might hone her abilities to handle change. Would this be an effective approach in your opinion? If not, is there some kind of potion I can mix and shoot into her veins while she is sleeping that will allow her to part with crusty stuffed animals and endure my hairstyle changes?

Sincerely,
Confused and Concerned in Colorado

14 comments:

Kira said...

Is it just me? Or...is adolescence a LOT like those terrible twos?
Am I imagining it? Because my sweet firstborn just threw a complete fit because his brother said something vaguely offensive, and I'm thinking, "Someone needs a NAP! YES HE DOES!"

Paige said...

At least she'll use the bathroom without a 45 minute tantrum and doesn't refuse to go to school. I'm just sayin.

ganelle said...

So, I guess visualization techniques didn't work? And, when exactly does the whole adolescence thing kick in anyway, because I'm getting all sorts of irritations from #1...
'Course, this isn't a new thing for her right? Wasn't there some posting about an old chair...

Dr. Phil said...

Well, Ms. Confused and Concerned in Colorado, I truly think this is a reflection on you. It's never the child, it's always the parent. Did you leave her alone a lot as a child? Do you neglect her? Did you force her to separate with a blankie, teddy bear, or pacifier as a toddler? I think it's YOU we need to analyze.

The Guatemala idea, I think, is superb! I will personally arrange for your things to be moved there this weekend. Start packin'!

(You will be billed $300 for this session.)

Dr. Phil said...

One more thing. I don't think you should joke about magic potions. Medication is a very serious decision to make when concerning your child and I will be sending a professional to your home to make sure you aren't giving your daughter any kind of inappropriate treatment.

(You will be billed $500 for the inconvenience of me having to comment twice.)

Thank you for asking. We will fix this!

Brittany said...

Oh boy. Well, at least you know she won't run away or get a tattoo or anything - she wouldn't be able to handle it!

Lucas said...

i....love you. hahaha

Anonymous said...

Just tell her that if you don't sell the car now, she will be driving it in high school, paying for the gas, insurance, etc. Money always talks when there are things that they don't want to walk(s). Ok that was cheesy, but it really works for our firstborn.
Ginger

Heather said...

Wow, Dr. Phil comments on your blog...

Good luck with separation anxiety!!

kristy said...

dr. phil: thank you for your advice, but I'll be spending that $800 I owe you on a helicopter ride in Kauai. by the way, which one of my smarty-pants friends is posing as a bald 50-year-old know-it-all?

Brittany said...

I know which one it is - it's not me, but she MIGHT be related...

kristy said...

brittany: thanks for outing the "psychologist" - it figures. She already thinks she's a pretty big deal.

ROBIN said...

You'll have to excuse my husband, he's had a bit too much to drink tonight and has LAME-O advice. Why don't you buy "Relationship Rescue". It has lots of things that could help attachment disorders. Specifically the "cold turkey" method where you take away everything she owns for a week and see if that makes the "car issue" feel less important. Good luck with college!

Pam's Place said...

I just wandered in here from a link on another blog -- sorry my short term memory fails me and I can't remember which one. Fun reading and I'll be back.

Have to comment back to Kira about adolescence being alot like terrible twos. Our former bishop once commented on the strong link between the early years and the teen years...i.e., 12 yr olds an 2 year olds being similar, 13 y.o and 3 y.o., etc. The more I thought about it, the more I think he was onto something. Ah, the wisdom of bishops.

Our daughter, when she was a teen, cried because we bought a station wagon instead of an SUV. Not a temper tantrum kind of cry, but we picked her up from school in the new car -- she got in and the tears ran down her cheeks. I asked what was wrong and she said it was the new car. Go figure. You can't win.