Is this getting old? I'm not afraid of the truth, so tell me if you don't think this is funny anymore. In the meantime, here is my list for November.
1. Filing my heels with a pumice stone and shaving my legs should count as an upper body workout
2. If you’re in the middle of using an eyelash curler and you feel a sneeze coming on, you should remove the eyelash curler immediately instead of trying to power through it. I’m just saying.
3. I have a TV crush on John Krasinski
4. It is always good to remove your shirt before opening a pomegranate. This can be especially tricky for women.
5. Rosie O’Donnell’s therapist is underpaid
6. Whatever psychological damage I’ve done to my kids so far, it’s not as bad as the poor kid at the junior high school who’s being dropped off in his dad’s milk delivery truck
7. I will never buy the Bedazzler
8. “This is going to be really short” is music to the ears when commencing a middle school band concert
9. Mixing velvet pajamas with flannel sheets can be a catastrophic combination for a restless sleeper
10. If you have a 'y' chromosome and you find yourself walking around a craft fair carrying a stuffed moose the size of your SUV, this is grounds for revoking your man license