There’s a pretty decent age gap between my kids (4 years) and yet their birthdays are only a week apart (apparently Cory and I have a lot of fun around July) so our birthday celebrations happen all around the same time. Last week Drew hit the double digits, meaning he has survived longer than most Hollywood marriages but not long enough to know that Michael Jackson used to be black. He’s been under the surgical knife three times, made fun of his mother 3,592 times, eaten vegetables at least twice, and I’m sure I managed to get him to the zoo at least once during those years. (Unless you happen to show up on a day when the tigers haven’t had their Ritalin and are spitting mad at each other, the zoo is only fun the first time around. After that, the only thing to look forward to is the kettle corn. Seriously, how many times do I have to watch an elephant dump his load while shoving food in his mouth? I can watch that at home for FREE.) At any rate, in honor of Drew’s TENTH birthday, here is a Top 10 List of things I love about him.
10. While shopping for an Easter dress with Samantha, Drew found a shirt he wanted and asked if he could wear it out. I told him to wait until we got in the car and then he could change. “Okay,” he said, “but only as long as Samantha doesn’t make fun of me and go, ‘Oh! Look at his man boobies!’”
9. Because of this line in his last paper he wrote at school: “It was kind of weird meeting an alien and pretending a peanut butter and jelly sandwich were my parents. Oh well, live and learn!”
8. Hey Drew, remember that day when you were complaining about how hard your life was and so I Googled images of the earthquake in Haiti and made you look at pictures of all the homeless, orphaned children? And you STILL thought you had a case? Ha ha, that was a good one.
7. One time I said the word “sex” and you freaked out, plugged your ears and yelled, “Aaaahh!! Don’t use that word around me!” So I asked you what you wanted me to call it, and you said, “How about ‘snookie’?”
6. In fact, you hate that word so much that when you gave your talk at church yesterday and the scripture you quoted used the word “sects”, you changed it to “churches” because you were uncomfortable with the way that word sounded.
5. You give really good advice.
4. Like that one time you walked down the hall and said, “Whew! NEVER go into the bathroom after Dad.”
3. You think all things are worthy of a celebration. One time you came home from the Father/Son campout and said, “Mom, for my Homecoming can I have a Yogos Roller?”
2. A lot of people say you take after me. If that's true, I hate to break it to you but you’re probably not going to date much.
1. HOWEVER, there will come a time when you will understand Hershey’s to be the poor man’s chocolate, and words like “Dove”, “Cadbury” and “Lindor” will take on new meaning and change your life. Plus, you’ve inherited some killer dance moves, so it’s not all bad.
Happy Birthday to the boy who makes my life better every day.