Monday, May 3, 2010

I’m In My 2nd Trimester

It’s been five weeks since I opened up about my seeming quest to rival Jabba the Hut in the category of “Most Likely To Require Two Coffins When They Die”, and the day after I wrote about my weight I hit the gym. My goal is to lose thirty pounds, which, if met, will not put me back at my wedding day weight but it will at least make me look like I’ve done something besides lick butter for the last 15 years.

I am happy to report that as of Saturday I am down eleven pounds, which means I am officially in my 2nd trimester of weight loss. Sometimes when really overweight people reach their goals they get to say things like, “I’ve lost a WHOLE PERSON!” Luckily, I don’t have that far to go so in comparison I suppose I could say I’ve lost a Chihuahua, or maybe a waffle iron; perhaps a few clock radios. Either way, I’m stoked.

Some of you are going to ask me what I’m doing – to go into detail would be the equivalent of Ferris Bueller’s teacher launching into a dissertation on the differences between white and ivory, so I will spare you. To sum up, I am eating less and moving more. I haven’t had a single soy burger and I’ve even had some chocolate cake and a spoonful of nutella. Shazam! It’s not so much about what I’m doing anyway, but what I’m learning in the process.

Most importantly, this goal of mine wasn’t solely based upon the numbers that appeared on the scale. Something was happening to me; to ME, not just my body. I was disappearing, and I was watching it happen – allowing it to happen, even. I was two different people trying to live the same life. One of Me wanted to wake up in the morning, throw open the blinds and seize the day with enthusiasm. The other Me thought that actually opening the blinds was asking way too much, and wouldn’t it just be easier to THINK about opening the blinds? With my eyes closed? From under the covers? The 2nd “Me” seemed to be winning out on most days, which was slowly but surely suffocating “Me” #1.

Until I gasped for air.

That’s really what this is about for me. I am coming up for air. I am fighting to feel alive, to be vibrant and brave and powerful. I feel it when I run to the beat of a good song, I embrace it when the days are warm enough to be outside and the sunlight bathes my soul. The two “Me’s” are striking a truce, and instead of competing for all of my attention we have linked pinky’s and agreed to work together to help create the best “Me” that there is.

I hear she likes Cher. Oh well, I’m looking forward to meeting her anyway.

21 comments:

Mom and Camera said...

Congratulations on the 11 pounds and progress on your goal! I know a little how you feel. Over the several months, I have decided that the real me isn't tired all the time and out of breath after walking around the block. I hope to SEE some progress soon!

just call me jo said...

Licking butter--that's a good one. You are doing great! It's hard, isn't it? We all have two (or three) different selves. I'm not sure either or any of mine are very well. I think I'm probably sicko triplets.

Stefani said...

Oh my gosh are you me in disguise? I could have written this exact same thing - just not as well or as humorously. I just got back from my morning run and felt like licking butter until I read your post. Thanks for the inspiration.

Buffy said...

Awesome job! Funny that I just posted about my "Evil Twin". I know the real me is here somewhere too.

ray-ray says said...

That's like throwing away 44 sticks of butter instead of licking them.

Nice job.

Heather said...

Did I hear running?? And you who swore you'd never do it. Great job.

Susan said...

YOU GO GIRL!

BTW, one of my favorite songs on my running playlist right now is Billy Idol's "Dancing with Myself." It speaks to my soul! :)

the emily said...

11 pounds?! NICE. you sort of rock.

KellyLady said...

Congrats! Loved the post. I agree 100% and could have written it word for word! Thanks

Mom of Three said...

Beautifully said...

mormonhermitmom said...

Good for you! Now if I could negotiate a truce with my second me, I might make some progress. In the meantime I will cheer for you. Go You! Awesome!

Meg said...

Congrats!!!!!!!!

Emily said...

That is inspiring, thank you for reminding what it feels like to be active. I needed it!

Valerie said...

Yay! You go girl!
Thanks for the inspiration and motiviation! :)

rocslinger said...

My second person is just as lazy as me #2. Which is why my daughter has been pushing me to work out. She's almost as stubborn as my wife.

the5firds said...

Go you! How ironic, I have GAINED 11 pounds, I guess your weight had to go somewhere. My goal is to gain NO MORE than 30!

A'Ese said...

Way to go, Vern! Now you're my hero, instead of Ferris. . .

Kerri said...

Wow, Congrats on the loss!! I'm impressed with your decision, setting it in motion and the running. Running. I don't even know what that is.

ganelle said...

So, which ME was wrapping my cheese in Christmas paper a few weeks back? 'Cuz SHE really gave me a mess to clean up!!!

Mortensen Baby Farm said...

We should have a party for your 11 pounds! We could serve rice chips and play the game, pin the stick of butter on a fat person!

sidenote: you have inspired me to want to loose my double chin! oh how I hate it!

Rachey said...

Running can be so addictive can't it? Love you! You are awesome.