Monday, November 28, 2011

It's Cyber Monday, Can Someone Log On And Get Me A Life?

This post is going to make me look bad, so before I get into it I would like to brag about my Thanksgiving triumph, just to even things out.  I don’t know if you guys know this about me but I make really good caramel.  (Care-a-mell?  Or Car-mull?  I say “car-mull”, not because I feel strongly that it’s correct, but because it’s fewer syllables.  And I’m lazy.)  I mean, REALLY good.  Not like I’m trying to toot my own horn or anything but…what’s that?  Oh yeah, *beep*beep*!  It’s slap-your-mama-smoke-a-cigarette-to-calm-you-down good.  Not that you should slap your mama OR smoke a cigarette, because both would be bad.  I’m just saying this stuff makes a person do cRaZy things, so you have to be careful. 

Anyway, I was trying to figure out what I wanted to do for the name tags to label the place settings at my Thanksgiving table and decided that I would make (make!) chocolate caramel apples with toasted almonds, using my homemade caramel recipe.  So I did.  I dipped granny smith apples in the homemade caramel, let it set, then dipped it in milk chocolate, and coated the bottom with chopped, toasted almonds before settling it onto wax paper.  The next day I gathered each apple into a cellophane bag, tied it with a ribbon, and attached a name tag to the top to mark each guest’s spot.  This is probably the point where I should grace you with a picture but, remember?  LAZY.  Unless I’m making homemade caramel, then I can be quite stellar. 

Okay, so we’re all clear on the fact that I CAN be impressive when I really want to be, right?  Excellent.  Now for my confession.

Remember a few weeks ago when Samantha ended up in the hospital and I couldn’t sleep so I watched Friday Night Lights on my iPhone?  Well, see, what I didn’t tell you is that I hadn’t ever watched this show before, so I started with season 1, episode 1.  It was brain candy, which was exactly what the doctor ordered.  (Well, technically the doctor ordered morphine, but I was noticeably absent on that recipient list.  Trust me, I asked.)  But then I wanted (needed) to see episode 2, and since I still wasn’t sleeping I went ahead and hit “Play”.  Then Samantha came home and Cory left for China and I was all alone day and night for 9 days, leaving a ripe environment for the over consumption of predictable television where The Breakfast Club meets a football field and a modern day Ward & June Cleaver take over Dillon, Texas.

That, my friends, was the point of no return.  It’s been 3 weeks and I’m on episode 58.  Do you know how much television that is?!  Let me tell you, it’s enough television to make a girl who is still on the couch in her underwear at 11:00 am ask the tough questions like, will Landry be convicted of murder for saving Tyra from her rapist?  Can Coach Taylor lead the Panthers to a State Championship?  Is poor Tim Riggins going to put down the bottle in favor of a better life?  Will Jason Street ever walk again?  Is Lyla ever going to be able to hang her head in disappointment without having a perfect strand of bangs fall across her face?  Like I said, the tough questions.

I’ve watched it in the car. 
I’ve watched it in bed.
I’ve watched it at the kitchen table.
On the couch.
In the (seriously) bathroom.
I would watch it on a boat with a goat or in a house with a mouse. 
Here or there. 
It’s shameful.  I’m not proud of it, but I still have to finish seasons 4 and 5 so I’m not out of the woods yet.

But I make really good caramel.


The Boohers said...

Hey! I'm not sure how I found your blog, but I did a while back. And I'm really happy about that because of awesome posts like this. I just did the same thing with Private Practice. I didn't have the hospitalization excuse, and it's ten notches smuttier. And I don't make any super delicious treats to balance out the stupidity of it. But occasionally I fold laundry during an episode. Occasionally.

Emily said...

When you have Tim Riggins to watch, nothing else matters. Hoowee, that boy is dirty but I LOVE him. Also I think I'm in love with Coach Taylor. I cried when he won the emmy this year. No seriously. One of my favorite shows EVER. Except for the Landry murder, that was the most ridiculous thing I have ever seen in my life.

Valerie said...

Gee...I can't even imagine doing such a thing. (Says someone who spent the last 3 weeks watching all 80...or was it 81? Episodes of Prison Break...) Truth be told, I did miss a few episodes...but I redeemed myself by watching the whole entire 4th Season on Friday night and uh...all day Saturday.
And what? No caramel recipe??? Why do you tease us? :)

Vanessa said...

I think we've both been going through the same thing....just different shows and I'm not about to admit it....except here because you ONLY have 123...scratch that 126 (3 have joined since my last viewing of your blog) followers and I'm banking that most of them don't comment. show you ask? Totally cheesy but enjoyable. I have not asked Greg to watch it with me for fear he will judge my lack of taste in television. Anyone see Legend of the Seeker? Thank you Netflix. What is it with women and predictable cheesy television?

Welcome to the Garden of Egan said...

I'm sorry but the coach is total EYE candy.
I didn't watch the entire series but he was on Grey's Anatomy once and I totally fell in love. Had to watch a few on Friday night Lights to sneak a peek now and then.

I bet your carAmel is good, however the heck you spell it.

anitamombanita said...

I don't care about the new TV show addiction, but the caramel? Gimme some so I can judge how good it is or isn't! LOL

Jillybean said...

I would laugh at you but I did the exact same thing recently with The Office.
Two weeks, 7 seasons.
My biggest problem was that I didn't feel that my kids should be watching it so I had to be sneaky. Sometimes I totally get that bathroom thing.

Just be prepared for the time when you have finished all of the episodes, you will feel lost and need to find a replacement series.

just call me jo said...

Whew! A bullet I've dodged. I dare not start any more obsessions. I have an addictive personality, you know (or maybe you don't.) Anyway, I'd never judge...not me, huh uh! I can't make caramel--too addictive.

Stefani said...

Making good carmel (I also say car-mull) makes up for a multitude of sins. You're forgiven (except maybe for the part where you've reminded me that I've been wanting to start watching that show - people keep recommending it - I may be on the couch in my underwear at 11 a.m. very soon. And sadly I don't even make good carmel)

Anonymous said...

You do. You make excellent caramel. And really, isn't that What Matters? *sincere eyes*

Carly said...

I'm so glad you made this confession. Since the baby has been born I have watched almost 2 seasons of Lie To Me, 2 seasons of Lost, caught up on THe Biggest Loser, and haven't missed an episode of New Girl, Modern Family, or the Office. Yeah...your 58 episodes aren't looking too bad now are they?

Lisa said...

Congratulations. I am really proud of you. You have good taste. We are friends for specific reasons. I like to be validated. Also, go ahead and put some of those caramels in a package to my house.