Question: So, Vern, what did you do on Labor Day?
Vern: I’m so glad you asked. I watched Camp Rock, shopped the clearance rack at Target, and ran interference between a can of Sprite and my daughter’s barf bowl.
Q: Camp Rock eh? And how did you feel about the Jonas Brothers after that?
V: Well, I guess everyone has to make a living.
Q: You do realize that they make more money than you. Like, a LOT more.
V: Yes, but do they have a blog with 12 readers? I DON’T THINK SO.
Q: You seem like you’re really good at multi-tasking. Was it hard making toast for Samantha and keeping up with the plot of Camp Rock at the same time?
V: It’s definitely not for the faint of heart, but I used to write notes to my friends during English class so I have a lot of experience.
Q: Wow, you really know how to party. Any advice for us inexperienced types in the future?
V: I find that a good pint of “Berry Voluntary” is helpful for getting anyone through a boring holiday. Plus, I highly encourage you to send your spouse golfing while you contemplate the slow and painful deaths of Disney prodigies. No sense in everyone being miserable.
Q: Good advice indeed. Thanks for spending some time with us, Vern.