Last night I dreamt I got an email from Sarah Palin. I also dreamt that I called her on the phone and she answered, “Oh, hi honey!” I’m not anti-Sarah Palin but I wouldn’t say I’m “PRO” either, yet I have to admit I softened when she called me “honey”. Minutes later my dreams swept me to Hawaii where I learned how to properly roast a pig, except I’m pretty sure it doesn’t take 6 years like my dream said it did. But all in all, considering I went to Alaska and Hawaii in about 8 hours I’m thinking it’s not a shabby night’s work. I woke up feeling well traveled but craving pork.
In other news, did you hear the Unabomber has his house up for sale? Well, technically it’s just the 1.4 acres of land he used to own, which he doesn’t anymore because, you know, HE’S SERVING TIME FOR MURDER. The current owners are asking $69K for it, which, I don’t know about you, but I don’t think that’s a very good deal. Apparently the realtor is trying to market it as an opportunity to own a piece of history, which I would be all for if it was, say, Elvis’s house, Michael Buble’s bathroom, or Jon Voight’s car (5 points for the reference). But, an oversized outhouse with no running water or electricity on an acre in the middle of Montana? You see the realtor’s dilemma. The posting also says the property is “very secluded” as if that’s a good thing. My friend Jill already lives in Montana WITH running water and electricity and I still have to talk her down from the ledge every day. “Secluded” alludes to having a place to relax, but if a Harvard mathematician can’t even find a way to wind down out there I think I’m better off here in the Denver suburbs. For the record, so is Jill.
Finally, did you see the article on this chick? Beauty queen turned criminal – crowned Miss Desert Sun in Arizona in 2006. I’m envisioning a cactus on her tiara and that was during the good times. Things went downhill after that, hence leading to this mugshot:
I’m taking this picture to mean one of two things: 1) She’s either REALLY sorry or, 2) she’s auditioning for the part of Nick Nolte’s cellmate. One thing is for certain, the Miss Desert Sun pageant did NOT need this right now.