Years ago I was a member of Costco, but for various reasons I didn’t renew my membership after that year was up. A while back, however, a friend of mine started calling me every time she went to Costco to see if I wanted to go with her and mooch off her membership - and so I did. About every two weeks. Then she moved, and Costco went with her.
This became a problem.
Every time I needed cheese I would look at the regular grocery store prices and think, “Hmmm…buy gifts for Christmas? Or cheese. Christmas? Cheese.” To compromise I decided just to buy cheese FOR Christmas and then everyone wins. During this debate I began to weigh, once again, the pros and cons of renewing my membership at Costco. One day after I spent the morning getting my hair done I thought, “Hey, my hair looks good and I put make up on this morning, this would be a great time to get my picture taken in front of blue poster board for the folks who introduced me to dried mangoes.” And just like that, I re-joined Costco.
Now, as a full fledged paying member, there are a few things I’d like to say.
First of all, there’s basically only one thing I would change about this establishment if I had any power and that is that I would add an express lane. How hard is it Costco people? Make a sign. Put it up in your far right lane, or your far left lane, or smack dab in the middle for all I care. Everybody’s doing it! Except the DMV. You and the DMV. You couldn’t possibly be okay with that.
Second of all, the reason everybody joins this place is under the guise of how much money they save, right? The thing is, all that money I just saved on cheese I spent on other stuff, because I didn’t know until I got there just how important it was to have chocolate covered pomegranates.
Finally, the samples. Also known as, "Hello, Lover". To take true advantage of this it is important not to go right when the store opens because the sampling people aren’t quite ready for you yet. The single biggest disappointment next to finding out that Tiger Woods took the motto of one of his sponsors too far (Hey Tiger, when Nike says, “Just Do It” I don’t think that’s what they had in mind) ((Enough with the Tiger jokes? Should I be done now?)) is walking through the pasta section and seeing the lady just getting her pots and pans out. But I really want to try that spinach parmesan mushroom sausage cheese stuffed ravioli! So then you try to meander around that section as if you’re intently shopping, when really you’re just waiting for the water to boil. After a while it gets too obvious so you go to look at the couch on display as if that was your intention all along. What? No. I’m not so pathetic that I’m waiting for your savory sample. I just wanted to take a gander at the quality of this LEATHER!
Seriously though, have you had the dried mangoes?