Monday, January 10, 2011

My Neighbors All Have Hummers And Snowblowers

The purpose of this post is not to boast statistics about how I got up at 5:45 am and used 3 different shovels to remove 6 inches of snow from our 3-car width driveway in 5 degree weather.  No.  The purpose of this post is to highlight my blatant disregard for songs like "Count Your Blessings" and complain about said experience.

For starters, it should have been a snow day.  We should all still be in bed, and I should be getting up in about another hour to make pancakes and hot chocolate and watch Netflix.  Instead, I was up at the butt crack of dawn trying to clear a path so my husband could go to that place where he does stuff that allows us to eat at Costa Vida every once in a while and leave our heat on after dark.  Don't rag on him for not helping me - he takes Samantha to Bible Study every morning at 6am and sometimes does the dishes while I watch TV so he pulls his weight.  Also, you can bounce a quarter off his butt when he flexes.  Bonus!

In addition, we here at Casa de Vern have made some calculated decisions about snow related purchases.  Calculations like, "That 4-wheel drive car is HOW much?  And gets HOW many miles to the gallon?" and, "Snowblower = $300 - OR - Child Labor = FREE."  But see, I couldn't solicit the child labor today because THEY WERE GETTING READY FOR SCHOOL.  BECAUSE IT WAS NOT A SNOW DAY. 

Something else that the powers that be at the school district probably didn't know when they decided not to declare a snow day is that right there, up in this window, is a young girl on the verge of a category 5 meltdown.


The girl up in that window wants to know why God loves the children in Africa more than her, because she is facing her first week of Finals that actually matter and feels unprepared.  She was banking on a snow day, and without it I am banking on a looooong week.

Finally, I would very much like to know why I have THREE snow shovels and all of them suck. 



The one on the left is what the kids use when they are helping.  It works pretty well, and if it weren't for the fact that my driveway is bigger than Barbie's helicopter pad I would have considered it but I needed something more.  The one on the right is ergonomically designed, and if by "ergonomic" they mean "this sucks" then I suppose it's true.  Which left me with the one in the middle.  What do you think, is it supposed to do this?





Not only did the handle fly off every bloody time I exerted more effort, but about 3 inches of snow was perpetually stuck to the shovel.  There are some who swear by using non-stick spray on their shovels before getting down to business, but it didn't work for me. 

Although they were right about the swearing part.

21 comments:

just call me jo said...

Oh, dear. Good luck with the snow removal and other tasks today. Spring is certainly coming--just S.L.O.W.L.Y. Hang in there.

jksfam said...

I hate the butt crack of dawn!!!

Stefani said...

I was just complaining about our un-earthly temps of 40 degrees and me having to get up so freakin' early to make sure the kids were ready so our neighbor could drive them to seminary. My life is hard :( So I TOTALLY know how you feel.

mormonhermitmom said...

So true. Today's snow shovels leave much to slip on afterward. My dad's old shovel was STEEL and sharp on the business end. I suppose someone got hurt and they stopped making them. Good luck.

rick and cheryl said...

Um yes, I second it all. It so should have been a snow day & I don't know where to find a decent shovel. All I ask is for one that shovels all by itself...grrr. Hope you get a good nap into day! At least you didn't drop one kid off at 10 only for her to start lunch at 1030 & then have to go & drop off more at 1245 & go back to pick them all up. Maybe a little extra bonus to your day. :)

Meg said...

Tell Samantha School Schmool marry a rich guy and then grades wont matter. :)

*katie said...

I'll stop moaning over our high of 62 weather we've been having. Makes me feel like a wimp :)

KJS said...

Don't shovel. Our weather is currently -20 celsius and my driveway is packed. Although, sometimes I manage to clear the walking path from the driveway to the front door if I know someone is coming over. But they have to trudge through the driveway first.

Vanessa said...

I have nothing to say. Still waiting for your visit out here though....I have 17,000 miles you can use:)

Valerie said...

My driveway is currently a sheet of ice...that's what happens around here when the 16 yr. old is supposed to shovel the snow.
I really, really, really want a snow blower!!!

Jillybean said...

I am SO ready for summer!
We have 4 children and only 2 snow shovels. Do you see anything wrong with this? We nearly bought them each a snow shovel for Christmas, but in a moment of weakness, we got them a Wii instead.

Jenn said...

I'm sorry....did you say something? I can't get past the image of you bouncing a quarter off of Corey's flexed butt.

Lisa Loo said...

Ummm....got stuck at your bonus.
What was I going to say??

Oh yeah,

.....nope...I lost it....

Heather said...

Well I must be honest I have never shoveled the drive way.... I am a princess, lame yes I am, but I have also never mowed a lawn (in all fairness my hubbie has never cleaned a toilet)
But I did start to laugh to myself in costco today.... as I ate the only sample (bread) and thought to myself "well hello lover"....

Brent Taylor said...

Hey, since it's only January thought I'd share these links. Back in the day (I quit in 1996) as custodian at the Chambers Building bought the same four shovels (still in the closet there with my handwriting ID marking them; think we bought them 1992) still being used there. Well, think people bring shovels from home mostly. But bought one for myself as well. Replaced the head once and then just this past fall replaced the whole thing. Link for the one Terilynn uses is here as well; bought a new head (for back-up), but, still using the original. Fiberglass handles. Cleared our two-car driveway today, Sister Jones 2-car driveway, 10 feet out into the street to haul snow onto our yard (I'm anal that way; used our grain scoop for some of that, same make) and (really) over 250 feet of sidewalk edge to edge -- in about 3 hours.

http://www.acmetools.com/tools/Acme+Tools/STRUCTRON+PP100+Snow+pusher%2C+black+ABS+head%2C+yellow+fiberglass+handle%2C+D-grip

http://www.acmetools.com/tools/Acme+Tools/STRUCTRON+PS200+Snow+scoop%2C+blue+ABS+head%2C+yellow+fiberglass+handle%2C+D-grip

http://www.acmetools.com/tools/Acme+Tools/STRUCTRON+GS18D+Grain+scoop%2C+poly+head%2C+yellow+fiberglass+handle%2C+poly+D-grip

Jill said...

Is bible study code for Seminary? Or are you guys so spiritual that you attend bible study and then seminary. Man, you are so impressive.

Tina said...

Tell Corey I'm throwing a quarter at his butt on Sunday - I won't say when, he just has to stay "flexed".

Mortensen Baby Farm said...

You know what really stinks? My parents got a light dusting of snow and they canceled LIFE for the day! My mom said she went to the store and she was the only person their besides the checker. What? We had a gazilion feet of snow and we still had to get our kids to school. Sigh...

I am proud of you though...getting up and doing the driveway! Super women has to burn calories too right? I used to do that (because my hubby left so early) and then we FOUND (yes found) a snowblower in one of our warehouses. Life has been bliss ever since! Not to brag or anything!

Steph @ Diapers and Divinity said...

We lived in Minnesota for four years and shoveled the driveway the whole time. Now we've moved here with significantly less snow, and my husband bought a snowblower before winter even set in. ??? I'm secretly kind of glad to have it, but I still make fun of him about it.

Paige said...

I hear you. It's like 2 degrees outside, and I'm not hauling my butt out there to shovel. I wait and hope that my merciful neighbors with four wheelers and plows will take pity on us and at least do the sidewalks. Our driveway is also, like yours, the size of Barbie's helipad. I'll just leave that three inches of ice there and hope that someday it will thaw.

Lorie said...

That is funny. There are a lot of directions I could go with this but take comfort in the fact that you don't have to shovel a whole hillside. :) "Bible Study?!?!"