Monday, February 7, 2011

After I Zoquo, I Like To Ushnu


I think I have writer’s block.  How else am I supposed to explain that I’m sitting here at my computer, staring at my scrabble dictionary and wondering if I have anything to say about it?  By the way, “rheology” is a word.  It means, “the study of matter in the fluid state”, which is code for “sucks to be a rheologist”.  Also?  “Quiff” is a word.  It means, “a forelock”, code for, “what the crap is a forelock?”  The point is I’m really good at decoding.

I’m also really good at identifying the difference between certain words.  It’s nothing special really, except I worry a little about the people who don’t share that ability.  For example, a person who gets confused between self deprecation and self defacation could be in BIG trouble.  Or, take Oxytocin and OxyContin – one is a hormone, one is an addictive opiate.  Critical information if one needs to stage an intervention.  Know what else?  Intervention and Intermission?  TOTALLY different.  If you need to stage an intervention and you go for an intermission instead, everyone will be totally confused.

Glad I could help.

p.s.  Anyone who can identify the reference of my post title without googling is my HERO!  Can you?  Huh?

19 comments:

just call me jo said...

I like words too.

Garden of Egan said...

You got me on the title. I have NO clue!
Please elaborate.

It's obvious you like words.

I think your writers block is really OK. You appear to have worked through it.

Marianne & Clayton said...

Had to google it, but then watched an entire episode. I miss that show.

John said...

When you first type "rheology" into a MS Word document, the spell checker suggests "theology", which is actually not that bad a suggestion. You see, one of the numbers that rheologists calculate is the Deborah number, named after the Priestess Deborah, who in the book of Judges (Chapter 5) sang "The mountains flow before the Lord".

One of the issues we see in rheology all the time is that materials can appear fluid or solid depending on how fast you try and deform them. Think about Silly Putty. You can bounce it like a rubber ball (solid-like behavior) but when you put it into the egg-shaped storage container and come back in a little while, it will have flowed into the shape of the container (liquid-like behavior). The key differentiating factor is the observation time: the bouncing ball had a short observation time (a fraction of a second) while the liquid flow had a long observation time (minutes or hours or days or ...).

The other factor then, is how quickly the material can relax to the applied stress. Some fluids like water relax quickly, while Super Putty takes a little longer and mountains, well, you need to time scale of God to see them flowing, but flow they do. Hence, the Deborah number.

Still think being a rheologist sucks. I don't.

Valerie said...

I have absolutely no clue what any of this even means...but I am laughing my head off!
And thanks to John for clearing up the whole rheology thing! Fascinating! Who knew? (Serious!)

Vern said...

John wins!!

mormonhermitmom said...

You have a scrabble dictionary? How is that different than a student edition dictionary?

Stefani said...

I was so excited to see the title of this post! One of our FAVORITE LINES EVER from Family Ties! No one else I've ever heard of remembers it!! You are my hero! I love words too!

Vern said...

Stefani: That is awesome! I thought my brother and I were the only ones....

jksfam said...

I Googled it and your blog post was 5th in the list. :)

Patty Ann said...

Love it!! I am usually good at words and spelling, but I had to read the comments to find the meaning of these. Love the post today. It was great.

Jill said...

Why do you have a scrabble dictionary anyway. We all know you just cheat with online help.

Stefani said...

Bahahaha! This line ALWAYS comes up with my siblings and me when we play Scrabble (or any word game for that matter) or when we go swimming or dry off with a towel. Plus it comes up randomly for no reason at all because it is such an AWESOME line! Steven Keaton is a complete (and lovable) airhead.

A'Ese said...

Vern, you cheat with online help for Scrabble? You're such a pesquito...

Vern said...

A'Ese - Jill is smoking crack. She's trying to deflect cheating blame on me when SHE is the real cheater. I am honest in my dealings with my fellow man.

Mindy Gledhill said...

I swear, this is the funniest of all the blogs that I follow. Props.

Deleen said...

Oh my gosh! Self-defacation. I inhaled apple when I read that, it was so funny!

ihenpecked said...

As a person who struggles with words more than one syllable, you're my new hero. Yes, I am a Scrabble victim and am undergoing counseling.
Your blog is fantastic and I plan to return often. Blame Mindy or Brett Nordquist for getting me here.

Vern said...

mindy: you just made my day
ihenpecked: welcome! and thanks to mindy and brett for forcing your arm - however you got here, I'm glad you don't regret it!