A few random things to share with you. First up, a quote from Drew yesterday: "Wouldn't it be weird if your name was 'Green' and people called you 'Blue' just to be annoying?" Because it's not weird enough that your name is 'Green'?
In case you didn't notice, I have a new button on my sidebar for Amy and Paul who are trying to adopt a child. I've never met Amy and Paul but I understand they would make awesome parents. It must be true because they took a self portrait with an amusement park in the background as if to say, "We're FUN! We believe in COTTON CANDY!" And we need more adoptive parents who believe in cotton candy because healthy marketing strategies are on the rise and it's time to take a stand. I mean, oatmeal at McDonalds? I bet the same people who order oatmeal at Mickey D's get the lemon sorbet at Baskin Robbins. Please. Although I bet Amy and Paul are totally into nutrition too, because they don't look irresponsible. I bet they strike the perfect balance and would expect their kids to eat all their chicken nuggets before getting dessert.
I've been working on decorating Drew's room. I found a great end table at Wal Mart but the packaging posted the dreaded words, "Assembly Required." Remember how I'm really good at decoding? Well, for all you rookies out there let me explain that "Assembly Required" can mean any of the following:
1) "This kit most likely has missing parts"
2) "You probably don't have all the right tools"
3) "This weighs a ton, and feels even heavier when you have to return it"
4) "Kids, please don't repeat any of the words Mama says while she is trying to put this &*%^! thing together"
Here's an awkward situation. My friend had to make the following phone call to Poison Control today.
"Um, hi. My daughter just mixed a bunch of medication into a glass of milk and I'm afraid she may have drunk some of it. Is this poisonous?"
"What kind of medicine ma'am?"
"Ma'am" replies she is taking a healthy dose of STD medication, and Poison Control Lady starts to giggle.
"IT'S FOR COLD SORES!" my friend explained.
"So, you're NOT dating Charlie Sheen then?"
"It's okay ma'am, it's not poisonous." But you understand if I don't allow my kids to play at your house anymore.