Tuesday, February 22, 2011

When I Roll My Eyes It Means I Love You

As has been mentioned before, sometimes I am prone to rolling my eyes.  Often it’s a gesture directed at my husband because I don’t get out much and he’s the only adult I see regularly.  It’s pointless to roll your eyes at a teenager because they stare at you as if to say, “Really?  I own that move.”  It would be like walking up to Dr. Phil, tapping him on the shoulder and saying, “Hi there.  Can I give you a little advice?” or knocking on the door of Mr. Clean and handing him a brochure on baldness.  As for my other child, he’s still a little young to read into the sarcasm of an eye roll and I don’t want to hurt his feelings so yes, I save most of them for Cory.

But wait.

What if Cory doesn’t understand the sarcasm of my eye roll either?  Husband of mine, let me explain. 

It’s true, the other night when “Enchanted” was on TV and you jumped off the couch and started singing and dancing “That’s how you KNOOOOOW…” in the middle of the family room that I may have lifted my eyes a tad to the ceiling and shook my head.  Here’s the secret:  that’s how you know I love you.  Because the real meaning behind that eye roll is, “I’m not sure how to handle a singing spouse turning circles in the middle of the room by himself, but God love him for it.”

"That day she was amazed to discover that when he was saying ‘as you wish’ what he meant was ‘I love you’." - Princess Bride

Years ago we were heading down to my brother’s house for a family for dinner.  We were in charge of bringing dessert so we took a cherry cheesecake we had just purchased from some youth for a fundraiser.  You pulled our nephew aside before dinner and master minded a plot to stage an argument between you two that would end with him throwing the cheesecake in your face.  When you let me in on your secret, I rolled my eyes.  In case you misunderstood, what that meant was, “You are the coolest uncle ever.”  We had another incident when I was making rolls to take to another family dinner and you hid random food items in a few of them – a piece of potato, a carrot, some chocolate chips.  When our niece bit down on the one with potato she said, “What is wrong with these rolls?!”  You laughed and laughed.  I rolled my eyes and apologized, but what I was really trying to say is, “My husband is better than your husband and he kind of cracks me up.”

I rolled my eyes when you were conniving grand adventures for our son in the crevices of our neighborhood.  First, you led him on a treasure hunt that required him to break bottles to get clues, dig holes to find others, and ultimately resulted in the grand finale of finding buried treasure on a mountain top outside our housing development.  Then you convinced him that dragons were real, going so far as to dress in black accompanied by hornet spray and a lighter to simulate fire breathing in the distance when you knew he was watching.  And I confess, when you asked me to help write a message in dragon language on muslin and leave it for Drew on the fence across the street, I rolled my eyes.  Please know, however, what that really means is our son has the coolest Dad on the planet and I am keenly aware of it.  I may have rolled my eyes by day but at night I would say prayers of thanks to a God that loved me enough to let a guy like you ask me for forever. 

Two days ago I had this conversation in the church hallway when a guy stopped me to say, “Hey, I saw your husband at basketball on Thursday night.”
”Yeah?” I replied.
He continued, “Yeah, and when I went up to him I saw that his NECK was PEELING!”
“Oh, that,” I said.
“So I asked him what was wrong with his neck and he said something about seeing a magic trick on YouTube that he was trying to replicate or something?”
It was a question.
“Yes, he was trying to make it look like he was sawing through his neck with dental floss,” I explained.
“I love your husband man, he cracks me up,” the gentleman finished.
I rolled my eyes and added, “Yes, I do too.”


Jill said...

So you do love all my comments about musical theatre from the
50's Ahhhhhh

Vern said...

Nice try loser, this rule only applies to Cory. It's completely legit with your lame old musicals.

Heather said...

Sounds like you have a Gem! Hilarious!

Garden of Egan said...

OK, that's funny! You're right, the teenagers do think they own it.

I often find myself doing a "double eye rollover" in the ER.
When someone tells me they are bleeding to death and we rush out to the car to carry them in and they show me a dab of blood on a piece of tissue....I ALWAYS do a double-eye rollover. (only cuz they won't let me smack patients)

rocslinger said...

Ok, you roll eyes. My wife rolls eyes and calls me an idiot. Who loves who more? Be careful how you answer that.

[Stacia] said...

By far, one of my favorite posts ever! Cory does sound like a pretty cool dad.

KinseyBug said...

I love that I was always a part of those family dinners that resulted in one of Cory's pranks. They were so entertaining! He cracks me up too! Don't forget about the time he took to change all the labels on our canned fruit and veggies to make my mom think she was going crazy! Good times, I miss living close to you guys!


Meg said...

I really don't know where he gets it from because no one else in the family is that cool, well except for boliver of course

ganelle said...

Yeah, I'm with Jill, does this mean you secretly love how I drive you crazy? Sure would help to know that it's just a code.

Vanessa said...


Brent Taylor said...

Cory is cool. I miss both of you.

Steph @ Diapers and Divinity said...

As a seasoned eye-roller myself, I have to agree. When directed at your husband it really does mean "I'm so glad that you are another adult I can communicate with, but you are an absolute nut case (who I love very much.)" Isn't it obvious?