Wednesday, August 4, 2010

Having Been Born Of Goodly Parents...?

Last Sunday one of my co-conspirators paid me a lovely compliment. She said I was, “such a good mother”. It was very sweet and I knew she meant it, but I also knew she wasn’t there for the debacle of ’04 (or ’05, ’06, or ’07). I knew she wasn’t there the day my toilet was flooding all over my BRAND NEW hardwood floors and I said a bad word, and then I said it over and over again as I sloshed through the river heading from my bathroom to my basement to shut off the water, and then my 2 year-old repeated The Bad Word from the top of the stairs as she stared down at my frazzled form. She wasn’t there when I told a whining 4-year-old to “Shut. Up.” and then the next day lectured to him about how “We don’t say ‘shut up’.” And she wasn’t there when we invented The Soda Game.

A couple of years ago we had a coveted bottle of soda in our refrigerator. Not your average can of sugary beverage, this was the kind you paid more for, that only came in boxes of 4 and not 12. Everyone loved it, and so everyone wanted that last bottle. Cory decided we would share it…through games of chance. He got out a small glass and some dice, poured a conservative portion of the drink into the cup and explained, “Whoever rolls the highest number gets what’s in the cup.” The winner of that round would decide the rules for the next round until we finished the bottle. Thus, The Soda Game was born. Now, we each have our own shot glasses and our repertoire has evolved from dice to other games as well. It wasn’t until shortly after that first night that it occurred to me, “Holy crap. We just taught our kids how to live in a frat house.” We’re hoping they go to a church school and stick with soda.

We played this game the other night with a 6 pack of Jones pure cane (I highly recommend the Crème Soda and the Berry Lemonade) but we had one lone, remaining bottle of Green Apple on the door. Drew had some friends over and they all wanted some, so Drew piped up, “Hey! Let’s play the soda game!” To which his friends inquired, “What’s the soda game?” Drew went over to the cupboard and reached for the high shelf, “Well to start off, you’re each going to need your own shot glass.”

Have mercy. The only Mormon kid on the block is teaching drinking games he learned FROM HIS PARENTS. Stay tuned next week when I reveal our family picture on the cover of The Ensign.

21 comments:

Heather said...

I don't know of anything more Goodly than the soda game. That is epic, really.

rick and cheryl said...

Classic! I wouldn't expect anything less! You really are a good mother & have good kiddos to show for it. I think I need to teach my kids the soda game-oh wait, only one of them likes soda. Where did I go wrong?

violyngirl said...

Daily doses of laughter have been a little sparse. Thanks for making up for it. :)

Ruth M said...

My dad fell apart a little when he found all 7 of us playing poker between sessions of General Conference one year. But, never fear, child #7 is now getting married in the temple.

Boulter trouble said...

Yeah. My daughter called the ants crawling across the laundry room floor "lil' bastards".....

wjmom said...

When our bishop--from the pulpit--was adulating his father, who the bishop had never heard swear, our son leaned over and said, "Well, we can't say that about our mom!" I replied, "I don't know what the hell you're talking about!"

Katie said...

Love it.

mormonhermitmom said...

Very democratic of you. I would have snuck it out of the house and downed the whole thing myself.

tawnya said...

Best. Story. Ever.

Patty Ann said...

I love it! With three girls left at home, they fight over positively everything! This might just give me a teeny tiny break from the mayhem!! Funny!

Vern said...

Hands down, this is my favorite day of comments on this blog. Thanks for being loyal readers, for making me feel less alone, and for cracking me up!

Amy said...

Ah, reality mothering. Awesome, I love it. Seriously. Thanks for sharing, I can relate. Daily.

KellyLady said...

LOVE the soda game idea...will definitely have to stow that one away for future use! Thanks

Vanessa said...

Nice.....good solution Cory!

ganelle said...

Well, at least they'll be all ready if they end up at CU. Or CSU. Or DU. Or Metro. Or ACC.

Actually, it shouldn't take that long, you're just preparing them for high school.

Jillybean said...

And here we've been using the "One kid divides it and the other kid chooses" method.
I think we might have to start using the soda game at our house.

(Actually, I usually just hide the last cupcake/soda/ice cream bar and eat it when the kids aren't looking)

Steph @ Diapers and Divinity said...

Love this. You're a great mom. I'm trying to master the art of having fun with my kids and laughing together. There's a lot I can learn from you.

Paige said...

Wow! drinking games!

Natasha said...

Hilarious!

Too bad BYU doesn't sell shot glasses or I would definitely buy your children one.

rocslinger said...

One question, Did the aformentioned soda have caffiene in it? If not you might still squeak in throught the gates.

Sherise said...

This? Is why we're friends. I'm totally instituting the Soda Game at our house ASAP.