Monday, August 30, 2010

Weekend Quotes And TMI

  • “Clay Aiken and Chaka Khan can’t both be wrong.” ~ Phineas & Ferb
  •  “It’s kinda sad to come home and find your Dad watching Clone Wars by himself in the dark.” ~ Samantha 
  • During her first week of school Samantha was asked to share something about herself in a class. As she relayed her experience, she said, “Yeah, lots of kids were saying boring things like, ‘I like ice cream’ but I wanted to say something cool, so I told them about how I am a descendant of Pocahontas.” Apparently Drew didn’t know this, so he perked up and said, “We are?! So THAT’S where I get my awesome hunting skills.” 
As a follow up to the last quote, I told the kids how I had the same dilemma at Book Club this week. We had several new people in attendance, so they asked us to go around the room and share our name and something about ourselves. “I kinda wanted to share something funny,” I explained to my kids, “so I told them how I went skinny dipping in the Mediterranean once.” Drew looked at me quizzically, “What’s skinny dipping?” (See, I thought they knew this already. Had I known, I probably wouldn’t have brought it up. Oh well, too late now!)

I considered my options for how to explain.

“Sometimes, when a person has had too much hummus…”

“When a man and a woman are married and they love each other…”

“Peer pressure can be a funny thing…”

Oh, forget it, just cut to the chase. “Skinny dipping is when you go swimming naked,” I blurted out. Eyes the size of quarters doesn’t even begin to describe it. Try plates, Pamela Anderson’s implants, or UFO’s. That’s how big their eyes got, and then Samantha said, “Yeah, you should have just said you liked ice cream.”

15 comments:

Judy said...

Hey, we're related to Pocahontas too! How does that family line go for you? This could be fascinating. To think, you and Jill might be related. Wow!

Vern said...

Judy: I thought Jill WAS Pocahontas!

the emily said...

In middle school I stood up once and said I was related to Darryl Strawberry (when in fact I meant Dale Murphy--he's my brother-in-law's cousin). This black kid in my class looks at my porcelain skin and goes, "That dude's BLACK." I was like "oh...yeah...um...my sister married...um...a black guy..." because I had no idea what I'd said wrong. I'm an idiot.

mormonhermitmom said...

Well, skinny dipping has to less shocking than..than...hmm.

I wish I could have seen their faces!

just call me jo said...

I know how you feel. My safest comment should always be, "I like ice cream." I tell too much too often to too many.

ganelle said...

YOU??? TMI???

shocking.

Susan said...

Yeah well, I'm related to Brad Pitt. For real! (It's kind of a long story, and a very round-about kind of way, but my Aunt who is a geneology nut figured it out).

It's too bad though, because now I can't have dirty thoughts about him anymore (although that ceased when he hooked up with Angelina -- she's gross).

Vern said...

Susan: You win

KinseyBug said...

I remember being there for that.....peer pressure is a bad thing especially when it comes from your favorite aunt:)

A'Ese said...

And...my son read your blog today. (He finds you entertaining for some reason). However, he now thinks I have wild and crazy friends, which makes him wonder about my own past. Thanks. A lot.

Kerri said...

Chalk one more up for the "How I damaged my kids for life" tally.

cathycan said...

Love your blog! Black, Ecuadorian, cancer-curing...think I can google it.

Vern said...

cathycan: Google "cansema"

Lorie said...

My message to Drew- IT COULD BE WORSE!!

Valerie said...

TMI all you want! That was hilarious!!!