Thursday, March 25, 2010

That's Me In The White Leotard

The other night a friend of mine asked how my health was since my surgery.  Is everything okay?  Am I totally back to normal?  After clarifying that "normal" is somewhat difficult to discern with one who has watched "Ishtar" more than once AND LOVED IT, but I said, "Yes, I believe I am as back to normal as I'm going to get."  I didn't stop there.  "Need I remind you that I will never, EVER, have another period again in my life?  Serious perks with this surgery my friend."  She may not admit it, but she was jealous.  I can't blame her.  However, I don't want all of you to feel like just because I am done menstruating for the rest of my life, (Did I mention that?  That I am free for the rest of my life?!  BECAUSE IT'S FOR LIFE) that somehow I'm no longer relatable.  I'm not like your aunt who had 19 kids (oh.  Hi Michelle Duggar) but then they left home and she forgot all about what it was like to have little ones in the house until YOU came to visit with your small children and she was like, "Don't touch that!  Oh no, not there!  Let's have your kids use this bathroom.  Do you always let little Johnny talk to you like that?"  No, no.  The memories are fresh my friends, and I remember all too well what it was like to moan and groan on the couch with a hot pad strapped around my abdomen and pop four Advil like they were m&m's.  Which is probably why I appreciated this video so much that my friend Gerry sent to me today.  We've all been there (unless you're one of the 3 men who read my blog - hi Cory.  Hi Dad.  Hi Grandpa.  Grandpa?!  Crap, they have INTERNET up there?) and so I'm confident that you will enjoy this too.  Thanks Gerry!

11 comments:

rick and cheryl said...

I am seriously laughing so hard. That was hilarious!

Susie J. said...

oh my gosh... tears rolling down my cheeks... children asking what's so funny... can't breathe.

Carly Almost Richardson said...

Funniest thing in my life right now.
Happily shared with apartment of college girls.
Excellent bonding experience.

*katie said...

hahahaha, very funny:)

Brittany said...

It's about freakin' time.

Lisa said...

Um, those tampons at the end look AWESOME. I mean, my grandma didn't have NEON packaging! AHHHH YAH! Come to think about it, Grandma had to wear a belt or something. . . this is the weirdest comment I've ever left. Congratulations on bringing it out of me. You've really out down yourself. It was the white spandex.

Lorie said...

Holy Cow, it's about time someone called them out on that "blue liquid"!! SO FUNNY! BTW, I AM very envious of your non-menses(sp?). (So is Richard) Well, that could be misinterrpreted(sp?) but you know what I mean.

Kerri said...

Now that was funny! I didn't have the crappy surgery but I got the end result (from old age which sucks almost as much, though). It is a whole new world.

Rachey said...

Lol

Sherise said...

That's pretty funny. Have you seen this? http://www.hulu.com/watch/10234/saturday-night-live-annuale

It makes me laugh every time!

Emily said...

So...I am left with the understanding that if I buy these tampons that it will promote more awesome ads like this one? Score one for the Kotex marketing and ad department! What can I say, I'm a sucker for a good ad.