Wednesday, March 31, 2010

The pros and cons of your daughter turning 14

CONS:
  • She borrows my stuff. 
  • She is old enough to mock me. While trying to parallel park the other day I was having some issues and she said, “Sooo, I take it parallel parking isn’t your thing?” (For the record, parallel parking is TOTALLY MY THING. I was having an off moment.)
  • I can’t help her with her Math.
  • She doesn’t go to bed at 7:00 anymore.
  • You can’t assume that an inappropriate television moment goes over their head, and then you feel responsible to change the channel. Sometimes being a good example is a pain, like when I was watching “The Office” and they said the word “sex” and Drew freaked out and I had to explain, “Drew, Pam’s pregnant and you have to have sex to get pregnant.” He nodded his head and then a light went on in his brain, and he jerked it back up and said, “Did YOU do that??!!!!” Good times.
  • She still gets a kick out of the Disney Channel. As I speak she is with Cory in the Family Room watching “Phineas & Ferb”. Nails on a chalkboard, people. Cory is laughing out loud. Is there any hope for my future? Tell you what, let’s not answer that right away.
  • Reality sets in and the childhood dreams begin to fade. Case in point, a few months ago she said, “I used to think archaeology would be fun, but then I watched Indiana Jones and went to Social Studies and I changed my mind.” I know how she feels. When I was 5 I took ballet from my best friend’s mom who thought I was a “natural” and I thought I would grow up to be an amazing dancer. Then I found out I would have to work out 8 hours a day, eat salad every meal without dressing and take up smoking so THAT went out the window. 
PROS:
  • Free babysitting.
  • Lowered expectations. People don’t really expect you to look young and vibrant when you have a teenager. A while back I was visiting with family and as I went out to the car I observed my reflection in the car window and said, “Good grief, I have MOM HAIR.” Then my brother so helpfully replied, “Well, you ARE a mom!” In the future bro, you are supposed to say, “Well, I guess if ‘Mom Hair’ means you could totally smoke Cindy Crawford in a Sports Illustrated swimsuit photo shoot then I guess you’re right.” 
  • She can clean toilets. The RIGHT way.
  • The “right” way being that she’s doing it and not me.
  • I’m not really as lazy as I make myself sound. Then again, what do I care? Lowered expectations, remember?
  • She's more of everything than I ever imagined she would be.  Happy Birthday beautiful girl.

19 comments:

Karen said...

She's so gorgeous. Then again, how could she not be? Her mom is hotter than Cindy Crawford!

Happy Birthday Vern Jr.

Stephanette said...

Wow, she look incredible. Good work, Mom!

Happy Birthday!

Mom and Camera said...

14 is beautiful!! FYI, what I mainly take away from this blog post is a relief that someone else's husband sits and watches Phineas and Ferb with their children AND laughs out loud while watching it!!

Oh, and I'd totally move "Can't help with math homework" to the Pros section.

ganelle said...

She really is a great kid. And those eyes...

Vanessa said...

Not 14....I don't feel like I have been a part of this family long enough to have watched her grow up to 14. Weird.

2- you could totally smoke Cindy Crawford....maybe

3- have you taken up on crocheting?

Happy Birthday to my kids' new favorite cousin.

Kelly said...

I like your comment about cleaning toilets the right way. I will try and remember that more.

Your daughter is darling, and I approve or your mom hair. I always look at my hair and think of Sally Field in Steel Magnolias.

Tia Juana said...

I remember the day when I could no longer use "staying up to watch a good show with me while you rub my back" as a bribe for Rachel. It was right after she turned 14 and I found downstairs watching my same show, not rubbing my back for the priviledge of staying up. I know my life as I had known it - that of having control over her - was over. Over it was not, so much better stuff coming, but still....

Brittany said...

Clearly it's been about four years since I have seen that gorgeous girl, because she went and grew up on me! She's beautiful AND wonderful.

Mom of Three said...

Beautiful girl! SOOO glad that we are doing this thing together.

Jill said...

Sam I am, I love the Hat!

Heather said...

This was awesome. Happy Birthday!

But I'd have to agree that parallel parking doesn't even remotely sound like YOUR THING.

Amy said...

She totally has mom hair. Good on you for teaching her how to do it. :)

She's beautiful.

And you're not that old.

the emily said...

that's a good list! happy birthday to her!

that whole mom hair really gets me. my hair is long right now, but i'm thinking it's time for a change, but if i go short, am i a total mom? ugh. it's tough.

rocslinger said...

Sam Sam is a great kid all too soon to be a great adult. I feel privleged to have known her and her mother.

Paige said...

Wishing you All a happy day. and Phineas and Ferb? the BEST. I laugh out loud when the kids watch it, and they think I'm weird. Whatever.

Kerri said...

Well, that gorgeous girl makes my girl happy and we love having her here to fill our house up with some extra teenage joy. And you are far from old, my friend.

Meg said...

Can't wait to see you guys! Maybe she might remember my real name. Happy Birhtday. I can't believe you look so old and beautiful. I mean I can believe that you can look beautiful... OH you know what I mean!
Love,
Boliver (Megan)

Lorie said...

You and Cory sure made a beautiful child together!!! Congrats! :)

jessica said...

Wow, where have I been?! I still remember when you were pregnant with her trying to get all to learn how to place basketball. I guess time really does fly.